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From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: reasons for getting married
Message-ID: <727@pucc-h>
Date: Fri, 25-May-84 14:25:12 EDT
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.727
Posted: Fri May 25 14:25:12 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 1-Jun-84 02:40:12 EDT
References: <514@cbdkc1.UUCP>
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Lines: 41

Carl Yaffey outlined some of the reasons why people might get married.	They
were valid; but I want to add a point no one has made yet.  When two people
get married (especially in a church wedding), they have made a commitment IN
FRONT OF WITNESSES to stick together.  They have, in the sight and hearing of
at least one or two other people, agreed to remain together and faithful to
each other (which means much more than just having sex only with the spouse)
until one dies.  Getting married is not just getting a piece of paper; it is
making a contract with society (or at the very least with those who see your
wedding), not only with your partner.  Thus you have bound yourself to keep
your word to those people, as well as to your partner.	This gives marriage
greater force (and, I hope [and suspect], greater permanence) than POSSLQ
relationships.	Marriage and POSSLQism (ism??) are not the same thing!

> It's interesting that a lot of the women I meet in their 20's are looking
> for someone (ANYONE) to marry. Marriage is a GOAL. A lot of women in their
> 30's and 40's, however, seem to have learned that it should be the other 
> way around: if you find a neat person, THEN consider whether you want to 
> stay with them (married or not).

I haven't talked with all that many women about this, but I have a distinct
impression that there are many looking for mates.  One female friend of mine
in her 20's indicates that while she personally is not looking for a husband,
several of her friends are desperate for a mate.  One possible reason for this
is that women want to marry while still in their prime childbearing years, in
order to minimize the risk of problems with the pregnancy and of defects in
the child.  Other reasons for desperation have been flying thick and fast here
lately.  By the time a woman is a little older (especially if she's had some
experience with marriage and divorce, and [I imagine] especially if she has
borne one or more kids), she can be more realistic about relationships.
Carl's last sentence above is certainly realistic, and the right way to
approach relationships.  I am finally beginning to know that in my "gut", not
just in my head....

Any women out their have any comments on this?	I'm honestly curious, since
most of the single women I know are in their 20's, and so am I; so I have a
practical reason for asking....

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{allegra|decvax|harpo|ihnp4|seismo|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
"...I've got to be where my spirit can run free..."