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From: pooh@ut-sally.UUCP (Wendy P. Nather)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: reasons for getting married
Message-ID: <309@ut-sally.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 29-May-84 18:27:21 EDT
Article-I.D.: ut-sally.309
Posted: Tue May 29 18:27:21 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 1-Jun-84 06:48:52 EDT
References: <514@cbdkc1.UUCP>, <727@pucc-h>
Organization: U. Texas CS Dept., Austin, Texas
Lines: 31

Being in my early 20's, I can't say that I'm listening
in panic to my biological clock ticking away.  I would say,
however, that I am looking (not too actively) for a soul-mate,
someone with whom I could share myself and my life without
stifling him or being stifled.  I am not looking for a sperm
bank for the express purpose of having children; for me, that's
putting the cart before the horse.  I will want to have children
when I find someone I love enough--not before.  I have to feel
very strongly about someone before I will want to have his
children.
Having listened to a lot of words in my life, I believe actions
more.  I will not believe that someone has made a commitment
until he backs it up.  "Sure, I'm committed--don't you trust
me?" is awfully weak compared to getting legal papers drawn
up.
Someone out there might say, "Well, if you really love each
other, you won't need that piece of paper, and you obviously
don't trust him enough."  Sorry, folks, but I have trusted.
Unfortunately, it takes TWO people, a truster and a trustee.
All I can ever be sure about is myself--how CAN I claim to know
what's going on in my partner's mind?  I trust MYSELF and know
how deep MY love goes--but time and time again I've been walked
out on in some form or fashion.
So in answer to your query, Jeff, I AM looking ultimately for
a "mate," but not on a generic basis.  Not just anyone will do,
and I won't start thinking along the lines of marriage etc.
until I meet that person.  Marriage should not be an end;
the person should.

Wendy                          [Looking for a custom fit in an
                                 off-the-rack world. . .]