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From: ed@mtxinu.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: reasons for getting married
Message-ID: <122@mtxinu.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 30-May-84 01:59:28 EDT
Article-I.D.: mtxinu.122
Posted: Wed May 30 01:59:28 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 1-Jun-84 07:29:48 EDT
References: <727@pucc-h>
Organization: mt Xinu, Berkeley
Lines: 29

The public commitment is perhaps the strongest argument I know
of for getting married.  However, the entire institution of
marriage need not be carried along with that commitment.  The
institution of marriage contains lots of other baggage.
It alters others' perception of the married folks.  This may
not be the desire of the folks getting "married."  In particular,
there are tradidional phrases in the wedding that, even when
they're left out are noticed.  "... and obey ..." is a prime
example.  Many people hear this from the woman in a wedding,
even if it's explicitly left out.

This leads me to conclude that while a public commitment
to a relationship may be valuable, calling it a "wedding" is
probably not what I'd want to do.  In addition to reasons like
I mentioned above, I don't believe that it's any business of
the state or the church what I want with my relationships.

On the other hand, there is one thing that might yet convince me
to actually get married--children.  If I were to have
children in a relationship, I would be concerned with the
social stigma that children of unmarried parents might face.
Granted, that stigma is becoming less common in our society,
but it is by no means gone.  Perhaps, however, the public
commitment to the relationship will satisfy enough of society's
needs that a "marriage" won't be required for the kids' sake.

-- 
Ed Gould
ucbvax!mtxinu!ed