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Path: utzoo!watmath!jamcmullan
From: jamcmullan@watmath.UUCP (Judy McMullan)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re:  sex and power
Message-ID: <7914@watmath.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 31-May-84 16:08:13 EDT
Article-I.D.: watmath.7914
Posted: Thu May 31 16:08:13 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 2-Jun-84 09:54:00 EDT
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 29

	>I have noticed that a relationship where one person is definitely
	>and undoubtedly in control seems to work very well. ...  It just
	>seems that things work better when there is one point where the
	>responsibility for decisions is placed. ...  I don't see any
	>noticable difference between the female dominated and male
	>dominated relationships.
	>The main thing is that when you are together you have to learn
	>that we should come before I.  If the relationship has more I
	>concerns than WE concerns then if will fail as a relationship.

I won't argue with the sentiment that *WE* must become more important than *I*.
I can't agree that it is necessary for one person to dominate the relationship
in order to do this. I am never happy when I feel dominated in a relationship.
Similarly, I have no desire to try and dominate someone else. My most
successful relationships are where each of us is (no other word for it!) EQUAL.
At times, something is very important to one or the other and their needs or
desires are put first. At times, we work things out together by some process
of negotiation. At times, we are in such complete harmony that there is no
need to discuss what we are doing/needing.
This way, there are no secret resentments; you don't have one person afraid
of the other; you don't have the diminuation of ego that results from being
constantly "dominated". I find it much better, all 'round.
I know, I know. Some people are just so domineering that ALL their relation-
ships are like that. Some people don't like to think for themselves and
would rather have another person make their decisions for them. We netters
aren't like that, though, are we?   ;-)

   --from the sssstickkky keyboard of JAM
   ...!{ihnp4|clyde|decvax}!watmath!jamcmullan