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From: mokhtar@ubc-vision.CDN (Farzin Mokhtarian)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: In defence of just living together
Message-ID: <390@ubc-vision.CDN>
Date: Thu, 31-May-84 23:13:38 EDT
Article-I.D.: ubc-visi.390
Posted: Thu May 31 23:13:38 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 2-Jun-84 12:19:24 EDT
Organization: UBC Vision, Vancouver, B.C., Canada
Lines: 27

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    "Marriage is a celebration of a union" is probably one of the best
defences I have heard in favor of getting married. But I don't believe it.
I whole-heartedly agree that the true union of two human beings is a very
special time and should be celebrated as best as possible, but why should
that celebration be marriage? The bond we (me and my lover) create is very
personal. The celebration of it should also be done in our own personal
way. Marriage will "force a certain kind of" celebration on us. Pressuring
a couple to get married is like saying "your way is not good enough".
To me, marriage is a de-personalized celebration of a union. I want something
better.
   
    If it is too easy to "walk away" when you are just "living together", you
should go back and re-consider your union. If that is really true, it in NOT
the strength of that union but some other means which is holding it together.
I would only be satisfied with the union I make if I knew that it will last
even if we just "live together".
   
    The question was asked, "why do you not want to marry?" rather than "why
do you want to get married?". I think the answer is obvious. You don't do
something unless you have a reason for it even if that reason is very simple.
I am sure you can think of thousands of things you *don't* do. Well, why don't
you do them? "Not being able to" may be the answer for some of them but for 
the rest, it is because you don't have a good reason to do them.
    
						     Farzin Mokhtarian