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From: plaskon@hplabsc.UUCP (Dawn Plaskon)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: responding differently to engaged/divorced/married/pregnant/parent...
Message-ID: <1884@hplabsc.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 15-May-84 19:29:06 EDT
Article-I.D.: hplabsc.1884
Posted: Tue May 15 19:29:06 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 18-May-84 07:18:06 EDT
References: <5848@decwrl.UUCP>
Organization: Hewlett Packard Labs, Palo Alto CA
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Hi Shava,

WE have had this discussion before and, as you know, I agree with a lot of
what you say on the subject.  I think, though, that more often than not the
limitations on activities when married are imposed by our OWN expectations
of what our actions should be.  When I was married (7 years, most unhappy)
I went out occasionally with women from work but only over the protests
of my husband who felt that "Women should not go to bars without their
husband".  He was not prepared to take me on his excursions though.  

I did not pursue many of the things in life which interested me because
of a mistaken notion that I needed to do such things with my partner. At
the time that I began to pursue my own interests my marriage quickly fell
apart and ended in divorce.

I am now involved in another relationship, two years this month, and 
have many interests not shared by my SO.  The significant difference is
that in this cycle I am actively pursuing those interests.  I think
our relationship is strengthened by my constantly widening horizons
rather than weakened.

I hope to see you next time I am back East, or be sure to see us if
you are back this way.