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From: wildbill@ucbvax.UUCP (William J. Laubenheimer)
Newsgroups: net.consumers
Subject: Re: UNITED cancelations
Message-ID: <1181@ucbvax.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 26-Jun-84 07:00:18 EDT
Article-I.D.: ucbvax.1181
Posted: Tue Jun 26 07:00:18 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 28-Jun-84 04:49:53 EDT
References: <880@tekchips.UUCP> <1188@drux3.UUCP> <195@brl-vgr.ARPA>
Organization: U.C. Berkeley
Lines: 30

> A not uncommon airline practice is to make you change airplanes even
> on direct or (occasionally) non-stop flights.

> -Ron

Change on a nonstop flight, huh? This I've simply GOT to see!
"This is your flight attendant speaking. Truly Wretched Airlines regrets
the inconvenience, but due to unforseen circumstances, the plane on which
you are now flying has been diverted to Boise. For those of you who wish
to continue on our Truly Wretched service to New York, we have made
arrangements for you to transfer to a DC-7 1/2. Those of you on the left
side of the plane can see it out your windows a couple of hundred feet
below. We have descended to 12,000 feet and slowed to 200 miles per hour
in order to ease your connection. Now, in a few minutes, we will be
opening the passenger exits on the left side of the plane. Our Truly
Wretched flight crew on the DC-7 1/2 is standing by with a fish net.
Now, when we open the doors and the green light begins to flash, you
may come up to the door and JUMP. We regret that your baggage will
go to Boise with the plane. Thank you for flying Truly Wretched Airlines..."

Any resemblance to actual airplanes or airlines is simply the product of
a deranged imagination. I'm not sure whether it's yours or mine.
          _                  _
         / |      ____      | \         Bill Laubenheimer
        / /     /      \     \ \        UC-Berkeley Computer Science
 ______/ /     |  o  o  |     \ \______ ucbvax!wildbill
<______.<----------()---------->.______>
       \ \...Killjoy was here!/ /
        \ \                  / /
         \_|                |_/