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From: alan@unisoft.UUCP (Alan Tobey)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Og the Troll and the DEC Salesman
Message-ID: <308@unisoft.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 28-Jun-84 15:48:55 EDT
Article-I.D.: unisoft.308
Posted: Thu Jun 28 15:48:55 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 1-Jul-84 03:34:02 EDT
Organization: UniSoft Corp., Berkeley
Lines: 58

Once upon a time there lived a fearsome troll named  Og.  So
nasty  and  uncivilized  was  he  that  he  refused  to wear
clothes;  he stomped around  the  village  completely  nude,
scaring the children and embarrassing the quiet townsfolk.

Down the road from Og's cave was a DEC sales office. It  was
only  two weeks before the end of DEC's fiscal year, and all
the DEC salespeople were in a panic, for they were far short
of  their quota for the year.  Especially were they short of
sales  for  their  Unix-based  software  for  VAXen,  yclept
"Ultrix;" for most potential customers were suspicious, say-
ing, "That soundeth like a name for a brand of leggings." So
they were desperate to make even one more Ultrix sale.

Suddenly an idea occurred to the youngest  DEC  salesman  in
the  office,  yclept  Harald the Slow.  "Why don't we try to
sell a VAX Ultrix system to Og!?," he exclaimed. "After all,
he has much treasure stored in his cave, so we can offer him
an attractive cash discount.   And a good all-DEC 780 system
will surely help him with tax accounting for his bridge toll
franchises."

"A wondrous suggestion!" said his supervisor, yclept  Arnold
the  Superfluous.   "Why don't you bring in Og for an Ultrix
demo?  I'm sure we can make the sale right on the spot."

So Harald the Slow went up the road to Og's cave, and  after
much  flattery  and persuasion convinced Og to come into the
DEC sales office for a paws-on  Ultrix  demonstration.   All
went  well for awhile; Og was familiar with secret passwords
from his dealings with wizards and elves, and  he  was  soon
logged in at a terminal and ready for more.

But soon confusion set in, for though Og was large  of  body
he  was  rather  small  of  brain.   "Awk?"  he said. "Grep?
Nroff?? Mkdir???  This be not software, this be Black Magic,
and  you  be  tools  of  the Dark Forces."  Og stood up in a
rage, and with a swipe of his paw sent the terminal crashing
to  the  floor.   Then, lashing about him with both paws, he
laid waste to the entire office,  finally  crashing  through
the machine room to strike deadly blows at the VAXen therein
before bursting through the wall and  stomping  off  to  his
cave.

Harald the Slow and Arnold  the  Superfluous  slowly  picked
themselves  up  from the rubble of their office.  Looking at
his underling ruefully, Arnold could only mutter, "We really
should  have  known  better  ....  after all, everyone knows
that you can't teach a nude Og Ultrix!"


    (Do I really want the credit for this.....?)

		Alan Tobey
		Mt Xinu, Berkeley
		ucbvax!mtxinu!alan