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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!zehntel!hplabs!sdcrdcf!sdcsvax!akgua!uf-csg!barry
From: barry@uf-csg.UUCP (barry litherland )
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: ONCE A PAWN, ...
Message-ID: <147@uf-csg.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 28-Jun-84 09:45:46 EDT
Article-I.D.: uf-csg.147
Posted: Thu Jun 28 09:45:46 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 1-Jul-84 08:06:25 EDT
Organization: CIS, University of Florida
Lines: 57

<veal>

         ONCE UPON A TIME
		or
	  VEAL FOR LUNCH

Once upon a time, a well-fed jester
lay dying of old age.  As he did, he
told me a tale.  This is how it went:
Once upon a time, an eccentric monarch
rewarded court jesters' amusing efforts
with food and kindness, but only as long
as he deemed them entertaining.  Although
many jesters grew fat by this arrangement,
each in turn starved to death once the king
tired of hearing the same tales, jokes, puns
and songs day after day after day.  I said he
was eccentric, and 'tis true, but 'tis true as
well that he was a fair ruler.  He would always
listen to a story, no matter how long or boring,
until it was finished.  Meanwhile, the bard could
feast on the finest fruits and meats in the world,
prepared and served in royal splendor.  But, if the 
tale or song ended unamusingly, he would be arrested
and sent to rot in the dungeon unless and until proof
that better quality entertainment would be delivered
by the jester.  Only one bard has ever thwarted the
ruthlessness of this monarch's disfavor.  In truth
the man was not even a bard -- just a pawn (and a
poor one, too).  But, since all bards with sense
enough, discerning the folly of service to this
particular dictator, sought other jobs or left
the kingdom (quickly and quietly), the job of
court jester was open for any comer.  Having
nothing to lose (since he had recently been
fired for poor pawnsmanship), and since no
other person had applied for the job, the
pawn was enlisted as court jester.  When
ordered to spin a tale for the pleasure
of the king, the pawn selected beef as
his meal, sat down to eat and recited
the following tale.  As the pawn ate
veal, the clever bard's tale began:


Once upon a time,
a clever bard revealed:
Won sup, pawn ate.  I'm
a clever bard.  Re-vealed:
Won sup, pawn ate.  I'm
a clever bard.  Re-vealed: ...

			
				The Bard,
				AKA uf-csg!barry