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From: dsg@mhuxi.UUCP (GREEN)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Offensive to Creationists, Upper Management, Et. Al.
Message-ID: <186@mhuxi.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 2-Jul-84 10:33:13 EDT
Article-I.D.: mhuxi.186
Posted: Mon Jul  2 10:33:13 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 3-Jul-84 02:40:54 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill
Lines: 53

Forwarded from KEN WOLMAN, whuxe!ktw, Bellcore/Morristown, NJ

After the creation of humanity, the various parts of the body
met to decide who among them should become The Boss.  The Arm
spoke first.

"I am the man's strength, for I hold the spear that brings
down the game that runs through the woods.  Therefore, I should
be The Boss."

The Eye spoke next. "No, I should be The Boss.  I make it possible
for the man to SEE what he wants to hunt.  Without me, he could
not aim and you, Arm, could not throw accurately.  Therefore, I
should be The Boss."

Then the Heart spoke up.  "I am the one who pumps blood
through the entire system.  I am also the man's source of
courage in the face of adversity.  I should be The Boss."

The Brain spoke.  "You are both wrong.  I am the center of all
bodily functions.  I control the arm's motion, and the ability
of the Eye to see.  I am the Boss already, so let's make it
official."

The other parts of the body were about to acclaim the Brain as
The Boss when they heard another voice.

"You are all full of crap.  You'd better make ME the Boss."

"Who said that?" snapped the Brain.

"It's . . . it's the ASSHOLE!" roared the Arm, and they
all laughed hysterically.

"Okay, guys, laugh all you want," said the Asshole.  "I am
going on strike."  Which it did.

After three days, the Arm was weak.  The Eye was blurred.
The Heart was palpitating.  And the Brain was befogged.  There
was an emergency meeting.

"Okay, okay!" the parts of the body cried.  "You can be The
Boss.  You ARE The Boss!  Please . . . just go back to work!"
And the Asshole did.

What is the moral of this tale?

	That to be The Boss, you don't have to have
               a strong arm, clear eye, strong
               heart, or clear-thinking brain:


               YOU JUST HAVE TO BE AN ASSHOLE.