Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site houxt.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!houxm!hogpc!houxt!hbb From: hbb@houxt.UUCP Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Hotel-99 (excruciatingly long & tedious!!) Message-ID: <421@houxt.UUCP> Date: Tue, 3-Jul-84 07:30:53 EDT Article-I.D.: houxt.421 Posted: Tue Jul 3 07:30:53 1984 Date-Received: Wed, 4-Jul-84 03:26:51 EDT Organization: ATT Information Systems, Holmdel NJ Lines: 177 WARNING: This is quite a long story. Put it in a file and read it when you have nothing better to do. One very cold and stormy winter day, a man went for a business trip. This trip took him a long way from home. He was driving for a very long time when his car stalled. Since it was late at night, none of the repair shops were open. Not wishing to spend the night in the cold, he looked around for some place to go. In the distance he saw a tall, neon sign that said 'HOTEL' on it. So he went to the hotel and asked the clerk for a room. The clerk said 'I'm sorry sir, but it is rather late and our rooms are mostly filled. However, we do have a room on the 99th floor which you could have if you are interested. Unfortunately, our elevator is out of service.' The man realizing that he had little choice, said that he would take the room. Little did the man realize that each flight of stairs had 99 steps. So he climbed up 99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reached the 99th floor. At that point he realized that he had forgotten to take the key to his room with him. So he went back down to the lobby...99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reeached the lobby. He got the key from the clerk and went back to his room..99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reached the 99th floor. Next, the bellhop brought the man's luggage up to his room. He climbed the stairs first 99 steps to the left and then 99 step to the right and 99 steps to the left...until he reached the 99th floor. When he reached the floor, he knocked on the man's door and delivered the luggage. The man said 'Thank you,' and gave him a tip. So the bellhop returned to the lobby, first 99 steps to the right and then 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he was back in the lobby. Meanwhile, due to the storm, the airports cancelled all flights out of the town. A man that was on one of the planes awaiting transfer to another, decided he had better find a place to stay until the airport reopened. Looking around, he spotted a tall, neon lit sign in the distance that said 'HOTEL.' So he went to the hotel to inquire about a room. The clerk said 'I'm sorry sir, but it is rather late and our rooms are mostly filled. However, we do have a room on the 99th floor which you could have if you are interested. Unfortunately, our elevator is out of service.' The man realizing that he had little choice, said that he would take the room. Little did the man realize that each flight of stairs had 99 steps. So he climbed up 99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reached the 99th floor. At that point he realized that he had forgotten to take the key to his room with him. So he went back down to the lobby...99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reeached the lobby. He got the key from the clerk and went back to his room..99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reached the 99th floor. Next, the bellhop brought the man's luggage up to his room. He climbed the stairs first 99 steps to the left and then 99 step to the right and 99 steps to the left...until he reached the 99th floor. When he reached the floor, he knocked on the man's door and delivered the luggage. The man said 'Thank you,' and gave him a tip. So the bellhop returned to the lobby, first 99 steps to the right and then 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he was back in the lobby. Because of the large amounts of snow on the ground, the railroad also cancelled its service for the duration of the storm. A man who was travelling on the train decided that he had better find a place to stay until the trains would run again. He looked around for some place to go when he spotted a tall, neon sign in the distance that said 'HOTEL.' He decided to find out if there were any rooms available at that hotel. The clerk said 'I'm sorry sir, but it is rather late and our rooms are mostly filled. However, we do have a room on the 99th floor which you could have if you are interested. Unfortunately, our elevator is out of service.' The man realizing that he had little choice, said that he would take the room. Little did the man realize that each flight of stairs had 99 steps. So he climbed up 99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reached the 99th floor. At that point he realized that he had forgotten to take the key to his room with him. So he went back down to the lobby...99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reeached the lobby. He got the key from the clerk and went back to his room..99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reached the 99th floor. Next, the bellhop brought the man's luggage up to his room. He climbed the stairs first 99 steps to the left and then 99 step to the right and 99 steps to the left...until he reached the 99th floor. When he reached the floor, he knocked on the man's door and delivered the luggage. The man said 'Thank you,' and gave him a tip. So the bellhop returned to the lobby, first 99 steps to the right and then 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he was back in the lobby. The next morning, the bellhop went upstairs to get the orders for breakfast. He climbed the stairs 99 steps to the right then 99 to the left, then 99 to the right...until he reached the 99th floor. He walked over to 99A and knocked on the door. The man whose car had broken down came to the door and said 'Yes?' The bellhop responded that he was taking orders for breakfast. The man asked 'What are you serving?' The bellhop responded 'We have Rice-Krispies, Corn Flakes, or eggs.' The man said he'd have Rice-Krispies. So the bellhop went down to the kitchen first 99 steps to the right, then 99 steps to the left, then 99 to the right...until he reached the kitchen. When he got the man's breakfast, he brought it back up to the man. He climbed 99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reached the 99th floor. He went over to 99A, knocked on the door and when the man answered, he gave him his Rice-Krispies. The man thanked him and gave him a tip. Next, the bellhop went over to 99B and knocked on the door. The man whose airplane flight had been cancelled came to the door and 'Yes?' The bellhop responded that he was taking orders for breakfast. The man asked 'What are you serving?' The bellhop responded 'We have Rice-Krispies, Corn Flakes, or eggs.' The man said he'd have Corn Flakes. So the bellhop went down to the kitchen first 99 steps to the right, then 99 steps to the left, then 99 to the right...until he reached the kitchen. When he got the man's breakfast, he brought it back up to the man. He climbed 99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reached the 99th floor. He went over to 99B, knocked on the door and when the man answered, he gave him his Corn Flakes. The man thanked him and gave him a tip. Next, the bellhop went over to 99C and knocked on the door. The man whose train had been cancelled came to the door and said 'Yes?' The bellhop responded that he was taking orders for breakfast. The man asked 'What are you serving?' The bellhop responded 'We have Rice-Krispies, Corn Flakes, or eggs.' The man indicated that he would take the Rice-Krispies. So the bellhop went down to the kitchen first 99 steps to the right, then 99 steps to the left, then 99 to the right...until he reached the kitchen. When he got the man's breakfast, he brought it back up to the man. He climbed 99 steps to the right and 99 steps to the left and 99 steps to the right...until he reached the 99th floor. He went over to 99C, knocked on the door and when the man answered, he gave him his Rice-Krispies. The man thanked him and gave him a tip. The moral of this story is (ROT13 - non-offensive): Gjb bhg bs guerr crbcyr pubbfr Evpr-Xevfcvrf. -- Harlan B. Braude {most "backbone" sites}!houxt!hbb