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From: gm@trsvax.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: proposed 1985 1040 form - (nf)
Message-ID: <53100050@trsvax.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 21-Jul-84 00:25:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: trsvax.53100050
Posted: Sat Jul 21 00:25:00 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 10-Jul-84 01:34:09 EDT
Lines: 73
Nf-ID: #N:trsvax:53100050:000:5078
Nf-From: trsvax!gm    Jul  7 23:25:00 1984

#N:trsvax:53100050:000:5078
trsvax!gm    Jul  7 23:25:00 1984


Form 1040               US Individual Income Tax Return                    1985
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+
|Name:      |Last Name:    |Second-to-last initial: |Starch?   | O  Cuffs     |
|           |              |                        |O yes O no| O  No Cuffs  |
|-----------+--------------+------------------------+----------+--------------|
|Present Address of Addressee (must be filled out by Addressor unless greater |
|                                                          than line B above) |
|----------------------------------+------------------------------------------|
|City, Town, Post Office, Shoe Size|Is your address greater than line 41?     |
|                                  |(If yes, why?)_______________  O yes O no |
|----------------------------------+-----------------+-----------+------------|
|Presidential \ Do you wish to designate $1 of       |Isn't this |Note: if you|
|Election      >your taxes to a worthy cause?  O yes |a dumb law?|answered no,|
|Campaign Fund/ (if no, why?) ______________   O no  |O yes      |we'll steal |
|               What about the little lady?          |O no       |your hubcaps|
|----------------------------------------------------+--+--------+------------|
|Requested by\  A. How many talking chickens do you own?|D. Have you rotated  |
|Dept. of     > B. Names:          C. Do any play the   |   your tires lately?|
|Agriculture /  __________________    oboe?  O yes O no |   O yes O no        |
|-------------------------------------------------------+---------------------|
| How would you like a good sock in the face, fella?        O yes  O no       |
|--+------------------------------------------+-+-----------------------------|
|  | 1. O  Single O  Double O  Sacrifice Fly  | | 41a. Regular? O Yourself? O |
|F | 2. O Married Filing Singly Joint Return  | |   b. Names of Dependent     |
|I |    (even if spouse is married separately)|E|      children who lived with|
|L | 3. O Joint Married Singly Separate Spouse|X|      you ________ Why? ____ |
|I |    (but filing double jointed)           |E|   c. Just the first names,  |
|N | 4. O Head of household filing separate   |M|      dummy.                 |
|G |    but joint return (if unmarried single)|P|   d. Do you weight more than|
|  |                                          |T|      last year's tax form?  |
|S | 5. O Head of joint filing single file    |I|   e. Number of Parakeets    |
|T |    spouse's separately.                  |O|      subtracted from gross  |
|A |                                          |N|      rotated income (plus   |
|T | 6. O Widow(er) with separate dependent   |S|      line 27-unless greater |
|U |    filing out of joint return singly.    | |      than 12 miles) _______ |
|S |                                          | |   f. How many inches in a   |
|  |                                          | |      liter? _______________ |
|--+------------------------------------------+-+-----------------------------|
| 7. Wages, Salaries, Tips, Extortion............................... $____.__ |
|    [attach W-2 forms to your forehead with heavy duty staple gun]           |
| 8. Remunerations.................................................. $____.__ |
|    [if less than gross reimbursements then file schedule Q]                 |
|             (see page 14 of "Joy of Cooking")                               |
| 9. Gross Influx................................................... $____.__ |
| 10. Money you made................................................ $____.__ |
|     [if $400 or less, more or less, list schedule B without not             |
|      filling in part II and R2, but more than line 10.]                     |
| 11. What about all that cash you stashed in that jar under the              |
|     garage?....................................................... $____.__ |
| 12. Total confusion (add lines 7-9, fold in eggs beat until firm). $____.__ |
| 13. Think of a number between 1 and 1000.......................... ________ |
|                                                                             |
|     If line 13 is bigger than a breadbox, go to line 43 to figure tax.      |
|-----------------------------------------------------------------------------|
| Sign here:  X______________________________________  date: ___________      |
|                                                                             |
| I, the above signed agree that this form is filled out to the best of my    |
| knowledge and any wrong answers given will be considered treason of the     |
| United States of America with the penalty either being death by firing      |
| squad, death by leathal injection, death by electrocution, death by gas     |
| chamber, or death by Burger King, whichever comes first.                    |
+-----------------------------------------------------------------------------+

Copyright Jeff MacNeily, Chicago Sun-Times


George Moore
Tandy Systems Software
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