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From: gary@ism780.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Re: A couple of old songs - (nf)
Message-ID: <333@ism780.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 28-Jul-84 00:08:43 EDT
Article-I.D.: ism780.333
Posted: Sat Jul 28 00:08:43 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 27-Jul-84 06:15:01 EDT
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#R:decwrl:-214700:ism780:11100033:000:1824
ism780!gary    Jul 19 14:28:00 1984

The chorus to Grandma's Lye Soap goes something like this:

Oh let us...
sing right out about
ol' Grandma's lye soap,
good for everything --
everything in the home.
And the secret
was in the scrubbing;
it wouldn't suds
and wouldn't foam!

That's about all I can remember of the song.  Johnny Stanley (sic?) once 
made a record which included Grandma's Lye Soap, Old Philosopher routine,
and a story about the search for King Arther's Mines, which were
equally amusing.  The Old Philosopher consisted of a violin squeaking
out Beautiful Dreamer to accompany Stanley as he recited verses of
some pitiful sob storey, such as this: 

        Hello cousin.  You say things aren't going too well?  You say 
        you have a date with your favorite girl when it starts raining 
        so hard you can't see?  And you're out on some back road when 
        the car stalls and won't start, so you set off accross the 
        fields, and 50 feet of barbed wire hits you right smack in the 
        puss?  And then there's a big explosion behind you and you don't 
        here your girl screaming any more?  

Then a chorus of brass and percussion, marching band style, breaks
in as Stanley delivers a spirited pep talk something like:

	Well take a walk in the sun and hold your head up high!
	You'll show the world; you'll tell them where to get off!
	You'll never give up, never give up, never give up --
	that ship!

The Search for King Arthur's Mine found our hero encountering much
danger such as hostile natives in the jungle:

	Native: Bwana, buwanna boowana, boowaaana!
	Stanley: Here you are; here's a banana.

The party finally gets to King Arthur's Mines, they open the giant 
doors, only to find King Arthur sitting there:

	Arthur: Hawaya, Hawaya, Hawaya?
	Stanley: Shut the cave door and back to pigmie country!!!!