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From: mikel@bmcg.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Famous Programmers' School
Message-ID: <1115@bmcg.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 22-Jul-84 13:19:28 EDT
Article-I.D.: bmcg.1115
Posted: Sun Jul 22 13:19:28 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 28-Jul-84 19:23:51 EDT
Organization: Burroughs Corporation, San Diego
Lines: 90

<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Do you have the restless urge to program?

Do you want instant respect that comes from being  able  to  use  technical
terms that nobody understands?

Do you want to strike fear and loathing into  the  hearts  of  DP  managers
everywhere?

If so, then let the Famous Programmers' School lead you  on  ...  into  the
world of professional computer programming.
---------------
What do Top Programmers Earn?

Despite popular myths, some programmers actually earn a  living  doing  the
work they love. Others, less fortunate programmers work in their spare time
at home while watching television. Either way, your potential earnings as a
computer  programmer  could even reach into the millions, possibly even the
billions of dollars. Of course, your success depends a lot on  your  abili-
ties, luck, shoe size, the phase of the moon, etc.

Is Programming for You?

Programming is not for everyone. But is you have the desire  to  learn,  we
can  help  you  get started. All you need is the Famous Programmers' Course
and enough money to keep these lessons coming month after month.

Take Our Free Aptitude Test.

To help determine if you are qualified to be a programmer, take a moment to
try this simple test:

     1) Write down the numbers from zero to nine and the first six  letters
     of the alphabet(Hint: 0123456789ABCDEF)
     2) Whose picture is on the back of a twenty-dollar bill?
     3) What is the state capital of Idaho?

If you managed to read all three questions without wondering why  we  asked
them, you may have a future as a computer programmer.

A New Kind of Programming

The say a good programmer can write 20 lines of effective program per  day.
With  our  unique  training course, we'll show you how to write 20 lines of
code and lots more besides. Our training course  covers  every  programming
language  in  existence,  and some that aren't. You'll learn why the on/off
switch for the computer is so important, what the words FATAL  ERROR  mean,
and who and what you should blame when you make a mistake.

Student Successes

Many of our students have gone on to achieve great success in all fields of
programming.  One  former student developed the concept of the personalized
form letter. Does the phrase, "Dear Mr. (insert name), You may already be a
winner!,"  sound familiar? Another student writes, "After only five lessons
I sold a 'My Most Unforgettable Program'  article  to  Corrosive  Computing
magazine.

Another  of  our  graduates  writes,  "I  recently  completed  a  database-
management  program  for  my  department manager. My program touched him so
deeply that he was speechless. He told me later that he had never seen such
a  program in is entire carrer. Thank you, Famous Programmers' School; Only
you could have made this possible."

Don't Delay

Send for our introductory brochure that explains in vague detail the opera-
tion  of  the  Famous  Programmers' School, and you'll be eligible to win a
possible chance to enter a drawing, the winner of which can vie for  a  set
of  free  steak knifes. If you don't do it now, you'll hate yourself in the
morning.

Famous Programmers' School
Dept. APRFOL
P.O. Box 463
Paulsborough, HN
03458-0463

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| Yes, I want the brochure describing this    |
| incredible offer. I enclose $1000 in small  |
| unmarked bills to cover the cost of postage |
| and handling. (No live poultry, please).    |
| Send information to:                        |
|                                             |
| Name:__________________________________     |
| Address:_______________________________     |
| City, State:______________ Zip:________     |
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