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From: zz1gl@sdccsu3.UUCP (Guy A. Lewis)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Glossary of data processing jobs
Message-ID: <1984@sdccsu3.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 27-Jun-84 22:52:28 EDT
Article-I.D.: sdccsu3.1984
Posted: Wed Jun 27 22:52:28 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 1-Jul-84 04:20:44 EDT
Organization: U.C. San Diego, Computer Center
Lines: 67






	Glossary of Data Processing jobs

Data Processing Manager
	
	Leaps tall buildings in a single bound
	Is more powerful than a locomotive
	Faster than a speeding bullet
	Walks on water
	Gives policy to God

Assistant Data Processing Manager
	
	Leaps short buildings in a single bound
	Is more powerful than a switch engine
	Just as fast as a speeding bullet
	Walks on water if sea is calm
	Talks with God

Senior Systems Analysis
	
	Leaps short buildings with a running start and good wind
	Is almost as powerful as a switch engine
	Is just as fast as a speeding bullet
	Walks on water in an indoor swimming pool
	Talks with God if special request is approved 

Systems Analysis
	Bearly clears a quonset hut
	Loses tug of war with locamotive
	Can fire a speeding bullet
	Swims well
	Talks with God only when spoken to

Lead Programer
	Makes high marks on wall when trying to leap over tall buildings
	Is run over by locomotive
	Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self injury
	Dog paddles
	Talks with animals

Senior Programer
	Runs into buildings
	Recognizes locomotives two out of three times
	Is not issued amunition
	Can stay afloat with a life jacket
	Talks to walls

Maintaince Programer

	Falls over door step when tring to enter tall buildings
	Says "look at the choo-choo"
	Wets himself with a water pistol
	Plays in mud puddles
	Mumbles to himself

Programer
	
	Lifts up buildings and walks under them
	Kicks trains off thier tracks
	Catches speeding bullets with his teeth and eats them
	Freezes water with a glance
	He is GOD!!!