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From: dyer@dec-vaxuum.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: Re: A Straight's Plea For Perspective
Message-ID: <2065@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 27-Jun-84 14:57:13 EDT
Article-I.D.: decwrl.2065
Posted: Wed Jun 27 14:57:13 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 30-Jun-84 03:51:39 EDT
Organization: DEC Engineering Network
Lines: 42

Re: A Straight's Plea For Perspective__________________________________________

> Question is, what happens if you are a lesbian and I (a man) find you attrac-
> tive.  Or if you are a gay man and I am a woman, and I find you attractive.
> And I let you know.  You know, flirting (...and what do they call it when a
> man does it...)  What do you feel?  What do you do?  What do you say?

	You plead for a perspective?  I know of one that's tried and true and
thousands of years old:

	    Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.

	The first thing to do when trying to understand how homosexuals think
and feel is to realize that they are human beings like yourself.  Humans all
have the same feelings (but never in the same combination), so it's pretty easy
to empathize.
	So let's look at your question in a more general light:  A person whose
gender is not your preference finds you attractive and flirts with you.  What
do you feel?  Assume that's what homosexuals feel.
	Your question seems to imply that homosexuals are aberrations in a
world that "should" be heterosexual, and their homosexuality leads to sticky
problems like heterosexual members of the opposite sex assuming the wrong
things.  Turn the question around (it's Golden Rule time!) and you'll see that
one could also ask how a heterosexual person is supposed to function in a world
full of homosexuals?  We all muddle through somehow.
	Now as for what to do and what to say, think of it this way:  A person
is attracted to you and you, for some reason (they're not the gender you pre-
fer, they wear green lipstick, they voted for Reagan, whatever) are not attrac-
ted to them.  This happens to just about everyone.  What do you do?  What do
you say?  As always, you find some way to tell them you aren't interested.  The
reason why you aren't interested usually isn't cited; most people make excuses
to avoid hurt feelings:  indeed, you can say "I'm gay" or "I'm straight" even
if it's not true.  (Not that I'm condoning lies like this; but I do recognize
that that's what usually goes on.)

	So you see, it really isn't that hard.  Just follow the Golden Rule.
		<_Jym_>

Jym Dyer
dyer%vaxuum.DEC@DECWRL.ARPA
...{allegra|decvax|ihnp4|ucbvax}!decwrl!dec-rhea!dec-vaxuum!dyer
Statements are my own, and not necessarily those of |d|i|g|i|t|a|l|.