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From: aeq@pucc-h (Jeff Sargent)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: "Why be gay ...?" (digression)
Message-ID: <796@pucc-h>
Date: Wed, 27-Jun-84 04:52:22 EDT
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.796
Posted: Wed Jun 27 04:52:22 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 28-Jun-84 05:34:51 EDT
References: <1037@nsc.UUCP> <779@pucc-h>, <1101@nsc.UUCP>
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Lines: 36

>> = Sargent
>  = Von Rospach

>> Anyway, I could argue that -- in humans at least -- the primary reason for
>> sex is to bring the partners closer together as humans (people do need to
>> be touched, and that's about as touching as two people can be; plus of
>> course there is [I assume] a tremendous emotional and even spiritual
>> closeness).

> I disagree, to a point. Relying on sex for closeness and intimacy is a good
> way to doom a relationship. There are many other ways to share closeness,
> and to put too much emphasis on this single act creates an imbalanced
> situation. You can be at least as close (or closer) with someone without
> going to bed with them if you want and be just as satisfied with the
> result. And it isn't nearly as messy.

I didn't say one had to RELY on sex for closeness.  I just indicated that it
did involve a tremendous degree of closeness.  It also involves a tremendous
degree of giving of oneself; such a degree that, though I would very likely
become sexually aroused from cuddling with an attractive woman (even if
neither party explored the other's erogeneous zones), I would be hesitant to
go to bed with her unless I was already very close to her in more ways than
the physical.  It will be interesting to see what happens if/when some nice,
attractive woman and I do become very close...will we be able to restrain
ourselves?

Chuq, it might be interesting if you elaborated on your sentence beginning
"You can be at least as close...."

Sigh....  I guess one must take the bad with the good; why did sex have to
involve both ecstasy and mess?

-- 
-- Jeff Sargent
{allegra|decvax|harpo|ihnp4|seismo|ucbvax}!pur-ee!pucc-h:aeq
"...got to find my corner of the sky."