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From: jimd@hp-pcd.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: WORST kiss of death
Message-ID: <16600005@hp-pcd.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 26-Jun-84 18:34:00 EDT
Article-I.D.: hp-pcd.16600005
Posted: Tue Jun 26 18:34:00 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 30-Jun-84 07:15:25 EDT
Organization: Hewlett-Packard Portable Computer Division - Corvallis, OR
Lines: 65
Nf-ID: #N:hpcvre:16600005:000:2867
Nf-From: hpcvre!jimd    Jun 26 17:34:00 1984

I read with interest the notes about THE kiss of death.  I had a couple
of experiences lately which colored my vision a bit.  These cause me
to suggest that there is a WORST kiss of death:

First, I've found that the 'nice' label can be a liability for both
myself and a couple of friends who were looking for 'the next SO', so
to speak.  In some (limited) cases, it might have been better to be
labeled 'bad'.  Strange...

There is, however, a WORST kiss of death. Let me set the stage:

  If somebody had suggested to me that there were divorced women in the world
  who were seeking wealthy husbands for the sole purposes of enlarging
  and supporting their families, I would not have believed it.

  I was wrong.  And it's really shocking.  

  There is a circle of women in the place I work (and around the town
  in which I live) who are generally:

          1) Divorced or separated
          2) Broke
          3) Raising one or more children
          4) Employed in 'career limited' occupations
          5) Anxious to meet their next SO
  
  Some groups of these women keep active track of men who are:

          1) Single, divorced, separated, or whatever
          2) Intelligent
          3) Comfortable with or have children
          4) Employed in professional occupations with career potential
          5) Looking for an SO
          6) RICH and NICE!

I have been introduced to or approached by a few women falling into the
above 'stereotype.'  Some of these experiences have been very 
uncomfortable.  One woman was clearly determined to do whatever was
required to get and retain my interest.  Which made me feel like a chunk
of roast beef in a dog kennel display window.  This woman (almost in so
many words) stated that I was attractive because I was *NICE* and *RICH*,
but could really care less about anything other than *RICH*. Another
woman asked me for money on our second 'date', and stopped talking to
me upon not getting any money.

Folks, I ain't rich. Nice, perhaps. But not rich enough to support a family.
The problem is, there is a stereotype in circulation that engineers are 
in some sense *rich*. The result is that some women falling into the above
stereotype approach me (or my friends mentioned above) only because there
are bucks involved.

I enjoy meeting people.  I have not enjoyed being auctioned to people.  
These experiences have been frustrating because the other person's 
interest was in the label and its implications, and little else.

I am looking forward to meeting another person, not buying another person.
The RICH NICE label has in some cases made it difficult to socalize 
with some women who place enhanced emphasis on RICH NICE instead of just
PERSON.

Is there anyone else who has had such experiences? If there are enough
responses / flames, I will post a summary.

Jim Donnelly
hplabs!hp-pcd!jimd