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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!zehntel!hplabs!hao!seismo!keith
From: keith@seismo.UUCP (Keith Bostic)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Facial hair
Message-ID: <1667@seismo.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 28-Jun-84 14:10:29 EDT
Article-I.D.: seismo.1667
Posted: Thu Jun 28 14:10:29 1984
Date-Received: Mon, 2-Jul-84 00:17:31 EDT
References: <1007@hou5d.UUCP> <1024@hao.UUCP>
Organization: Center for Seismic Studies, Arlington, VA
Lines: 47
Keywords: Beards, Friends vs. Romances, Nice Guys

> I've been friends with for too long for this new impression to do me 
> any good.
  ...
> Obviously, I also agree with the person who recently stated here that if
> you've been friends for a sufficiently long time, creating a romance out
> of it is hopeless.

	Greg, I've been thinking about your letter for a couple of days; two
things interest/bother me.  First, while a nice physical appearance surely
does help (I get Robert Redford's body when he's done with it) I think style
is a lot more important.  Anyway, since I'm sure you agree with that, let's go
to the good stuff.  
	When I was growing up, a friend's father married a woman with a
daughter about his age.  As I got the story, they had a "relationship" while
they were both living at home (at about 17/18), went on to share a room 
off-campus while attending the same college and then married while he 
was in graduate school.  Personally, I've always wondered how you could feel
romantic about someone after you've watched them brush their teeth a few times.
And, I think, therein lies the heart of the problem; if you are familiar with 
someone *before* you think about them romantically, the romance never comes.
Unfamiliarity/The feeling of "newness" plays a big part in romance.  (I was 
going to say strangeness, but I reconsidered in time.)  One of the Webst. defs
for romance is "an emotional attraction or aura belonging to an esp. heroic
era, adventure or calling."  If something is well-known, it tends not to 
inspire those feelings, no matter what the stories in Cosmopilitan said.  She
*never* comes back and marries the guy next door.  And, I admit, this isn't 
right nor fair.  But that's the way it goes.  Remember the "new" kid on the
block got all the attention (for maybe two weeks)?  It's just like that out
there; there is a flagrant attraction to new territory, and while men are
more obvious about it women are prey to the disease too.  I don't think I have
anything practical to say about this; the only real use would be to play 
a little game where you'd make sure that you didn't become "friends"
until it was convenient to start a relationship.  But then, hey, we *know* 
that no one who reads net.singles would *ever* stoop so low.  Yeah.

		Tell me if it works; if it does, I'll try it,
		Keith 
			ARPA: keith@seismo 
			UUCP: seismo!keith

p.s.	Continuation; my feeling is that romance fades, love lasts.  And love
	means being able to watch someone brush their teeth.  Even when they
	have to take them out of a glass on the side-table.  A great phrase
	I once heard to describe people who flitted and floated and never 
	seemed to be able to get committment together.  Being in love with
	being in love.  Y'know?