Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1.chuqui 4/7/84; site nsc.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!nsc!chuqui From: chuqui@nsc.UUCP (Chuq Von Rospach) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: Re: pedastilization digressed Message-ID: <1145@nsc.UUCP> Date: Thu, 5-Jul-84 18:54:46 EDT Article-I.D.: nsc.1145 Posted: Thu Jul 5 18:54:46 1984 Date-Received: Fri, 6-Jul-84 01:06:51 EDT References: <2875@tektronix.UUCP> Organization: The Warlocks Cave Lines: 86 # Steve Dyer $ Jeff Sargent :-> Moira Chuqui # This has been said before (but since when did that ever stop anyone?) # Lighten up a bit! $ How can one lighten up until one has solved the problems? If you were $ concentrating terribly hard on a project, working 80 hours a week to finish $ it as soon as possible, and making some progress, would not your boss (or $ major professor, or whatever) prefer you to keep at it rather than lighten $ up? How then ought I to lighten up in my work on this project? (Not to $ mention the fact that I don't know how; it's almost impossible for me to $ just relax with someone, unless that person is a very close friend.) :->A bad mistake, Jeff, to try to use those intellectual/analytical (left :->brain) skills on emotional/spiritual (right brain) situations. (Sometimes :->they don't work even on left brain situations. How many times have you :->worked to a point of complete frustration, left the problem, and come back :->a while later to find the solution simple?). In struggling to change the :->way you feel about yourself, there is no straight simple course. Mine have :->always been rather convoluted and I could only understand them through hind- :->sight, which is why *TRYING* and *WORKING* and sometimes even *DOING* :->don't work very well. By forcing it by working on it you are not sur- :->rendering the problem to your God. You are saying, "my will be done". :->Trust the process, even when it seems like you aren't getting anywhere with :->it. Be aware of how you react with people and question your automatic :->reactions. "Why am I reacting this way?" "Are my feelings about myself :->realistic?" "Might I react in a different way?" There is an old saying: 'Can't see the forest for the trees'. If you are working too hard at solving a problem you start losing your perspective on it and you tend to stop getting anywhere. Many times trying a fresh viewpoint (such as a counselor or psychologist) will help you see the problem in a way you otherwise would have missed that makes the solution easier. In other cases simply pretending the problem is gone (not solved, just not there) will force the problem to give you the answer (they hate being ignored, you see..) Think of ALL of the testimonials in this group about people who couldn't find an SO under ANY circumstance until they gave up in frustration. right, spaf? *snicker* $ While I am somewhat coming to agree with you that some sort of therapy $ (particularly group therapy) might help me, I wouldn't know where to find a $ good psychologist, much less a group therapy group, in this jerkwater town. $ You have to understand that this is a) Indiana, b) a small city (Lafayette) $ therein; each of those factors sets the area back by at least half a century, $ so this city is at least 100 years behind the times, unprovided with such $ modern conveniences. Well, try a phone book... (only semi :->). you might be suprised. the latest figures I've seen show that over a lifetime 1 out of 7 (about 15%) of the people in the country will need psychiatric help (not all of them will get it, of course... only the smart ones). There are usually couseling hot-lines or centers that can point the way to the kind of counseling/counselor that will help you most. Schools usually have counselling centers. I'm sure the opportunity is there, but you need to look for it. $ Anyway, I distrust mind-bending figures such as $ psychologists unless I either know them or have them recommended by someone $ I trust. Perhaps I'll have to break down and go to a singles group run by a $ local church, whose ads have mentioned something like "aiding personal growth $ in an atmosphere of loving fellowship". It ain't easy to accept that God $ might PREFER to help me through other people.... Jeff, I can think of a couple of people offhand that (I hope) have helped you. whether or not divine intervention had anything to do with them coming into your life is up for you to decide. The thing to keep in mind is that in the vast majority of cases God will not help you directly. He will simply put the opportunities in front of you so that you can help yourself. Whether those opportunities show up as $20 bills or willing and caring friends is beside the point. They are all God's way of helping you become yourself. :->Above all, love yourself and trust your choices. Espcially love youself. That, my friend, is the key to everything. chuq -- From a hunting lodge for rich weirdos: Chuq Von Rospach {amd,fortune,hplabs,ihnp4}!nsc!chuqui (408) 733-2600 x242 I'm here... There's nothing to worry about.