Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site ubc-vision.CDN
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!ihnp4!alberta!ubc-vision!mokhtar
From: mokhtar@ubc-vision.CDN (Farzin Mokhtarian)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Packages and more
Message-ID: <464@ubc-vision.CDN>
Date: Mon, 9-Jul-84 18:04:44 EDT
Article-I.D.: ubc-visi.464
Posted: Mon Jul  9 18:04:44 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 11-Jul-84 01:19:55 EDT
Organization: UBC Vision, Vancouver, B.C., Canada
Lines: 47

---------------------------
> Let me start by saying that the contents of the package are most certainly
> important.  In an intimate relationship, I need to be able to relate to
> my companion/lover/SO (whatever you want to call it/he/she) on a close
> personal level, and that requires the right (for me) kinds of intelligence, 
> personality, values, attitudes, & so forth in the package.

> However, the packaging also matters.  I need to enjoy looking at,
> touching, being touched by, etcetera my lover/SO.  My sexuality (which is not
> a separate box inside me, but, rather, a thread which runs throughout my
> personality and my reactions to others -- especially my lover/SO) requires
> that I find my lover/SO attractive.

> I seek beauty (physical attractiveness) in a lover/SO because that beauty
> is important to me in an intimate relationship.

    As I said before, it is wonderful to be able to find ALL the desirable
  qualities in a lover. Things get tougher when one has to define the most
  important ones to him/her self and when one finds him/her self having to
  make a choice between certain qualities. Ofcourse it doesn't have to
  happen that way but ...
     
    I can reason that basing a relationship (even partly) on "looks" doesn't
  make sense because the relationship will sooner or later suffer from that.
  Perhaps when the possibility of getting involved with someone as desirable
  and more attractive comes up, or when time takes away some of that
  attractiveness. Moreover, that irritating thought will always be there.
  Which thought? "If my face was less attractive, if my body was less sexy,
  what would happen to our love?" That is enough to destroy a healthy
  relationship, to create distance between two lovers and to make one feel
  lonely even when one is with his/her lover.
     
    Yes I can reason but I know how easily those "reasons" can be forgotten
  when a "beautiful" woman makes her "point". And that's just fine.
  "Beauty" has become less and less important to me with time because
  "other" qualities have become more and more important. 
    
    Someone once said something like: "Preference for physical beauty is man's
  ultimate prejudice". I believe it will create man's ultimate loneliness.
    
    I like to subject my love to all the challenges this culture can offer.
  If it survives, then I can have confidence in my lover and pride in my
  love. Anything less than that is not satisfying. Sounds idealistic?
  Thank you.
    
    -- Farzin Mokhtarian   Path: ubc-vision!mokhtar