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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!ittvax!dcdwest!sdcsvax!bmcg!cepu!hao!woods
From: woods@hao.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Experiential Processes
Message-ID: <1049@hao.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 10-Jul-84 23:53:22 EDT
Article-I.D.: hao.1049
Posted: Tue Jul 10 23:53:22 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 12-Jul-84 00:38:17 EDT
References: <600@opus.UUCP>
Organization: High Altitude Obs./NCAR, Boulder CO
Lines: 41


 Well, as the one who (regrettably) started this whole discussion with a 
question about Lifespring, I guess I should put my $0.02 worth in. My 
conclusions are based mostly on paying close attention to my close female
friend who went through the Lifespring "Basic Course", plus a little of
reading all the net discussions on the subject. 
  I think that most of those who actually went through Lifespring, EST, etc.
feel that they got some benefit out of it. My problem with it comes with
an "objective" analysis (is there such a thing?) of the personality
changes I've seen in my friend. She does seem happier and more secure.
But, I like her a lot less now. The changes may have done her some good,
but it has hurt me a lot. We have always had a kind of special relationship.
While we have never had a romantic/lover type relationship, there has always
been a kind of physical intimacy between us, at least until post-Lifespring.
I think now she realizes that most of this was done for my benefit, and
so she no longer seems to desire it. For the record, I am *not* talking
about sex, just hugs and fairly intimate kisses, nothing more than that.
I know some will say that no woman "owes" me anything. I quite agree.
But, this lady was really special to me until now. She now does not hesitate
to tell me she doesn't find me attractive. While that has always been clear
to me, the fact that she now feels that she should explicitly say it all the
time has ruined whatever closeness there once was.
  The gist of all this is, yes, I might feel more sure of myself if I went
through the Lifespring course, but I do not like the changes it has produced
in my friend. Those changes are quite marked, and I do *not* want to become
like that. She is lots more selfish than she used to be. While this is her
right, it makes me like her a whole lot less. I do not want to change like
that, however more secure it might make me feel. I think in the long run,
if I lost my sensitivity, I might have fewer emotional problems, but eventually
I would like myself a lot less than I do now, and so I would pay for this new
security a price higher than I am willing to, and I don't mean monetarily.
  I sort of want to apologize for bringing this up in this group in the first
place. I had no idea the discussion would continue for this long.

--Greg
-- 
{ucbvax!hplabs | allegra!nbires | decvax!stcvax | harpo!seismo | ihnp4!stcvax}
       		        !hao!woods
   
   "Cherish well your thoughts, keep a tight grip on your booze
    'Cause thinkin' and drinkin' are all I have today"