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From: tron@fluke.UUCP (Peter F. Barbee)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.women
Subject: Re: Clearing it all up
Message-ID: <682@vax1.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 13-Jul-84 17:02:29 EDT
Article-I.D.: vax1.682
Posted: Fri Jul 13 17:02:29 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 15-Jul-84 02:05:16 EDT
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I guess I'd like to get my 3 cents in now that I know more of Trish's thoughts.
I'll respond to some of the points that Trish made, my comments are below her
numbered points.  I would like to say two things first though. One, I can't
help but think Trish, that some of your opinions arise from the fact that men
are simply not your cup of tea, they have been unable to give you the 
satisfaction that you need, but that this is not necessarily their fault (not
yours either), just a fact.  Second, as I read your criteria for a better man
I'm sure I know men who fit (or mostly fit) the bill.  I like to think I'm
included in the group.

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     1. Dates a woman because he really likes her instead of wanting to get
        into her pants.

   Most of us do, or are finding out if we really like her.  I can go out
   "prowling" (monstering is word we use) if I'm just looking for pants.
   And I don't see anything wrong with that either, we're adults, we know
   what we're getting.


     3. Realizes that just because he's pleased (sexually), doesn't mean that
        his partner is pleased (and does something about it).

   I do hope that she will clue me in somehow when she isn't pleased.  I
   think we've all (men and women) been with partners who faked it (oops,
   I forgot about the guys who never fail to get their ladies off |-) ),
   this can be frustrating for everyone.  Good communication is everyone's
   responsibility.


     5. Decides that macho is not the only feelings he can have.

   A person can be overwhelmed by the media.  Not a reason, just an excuse.


     7. Stops talking about "losing his freedom".

   Right now I don't want to get involved too seriously with anyone, my time
   is my own and I'd like to keep it that way for a while.  Maybe next year
   I'll once again be ready for commitment but for now I'd like to be the
   only one with rights to my time.  Sometimes a man (or woman) might discuss
   losing their freedom when really they're afraid of committing themselves.
   Is this only a male problem?  Is it a problem?


    12. Will stop saying that women are hard to understand and fickle.

   It seems to me most people are hard to understand, and a lot of them
   are fickle.  I agree though that this is a lousy rap to put only on women.


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   Any points I didn't respond to I basically agree with, but still say
that there a lot more men out there that measure up.  Especially when the
friendship is able to break out of stereotypical roles.


				Peter Barbee

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