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From: anita@drux3.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: LaBelle Re: Trish, homosexuals, and dating
Message-ID: <1198@drux3.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 16-Jul-84 11:47:56 EDT
Article-I.D.: drux3.1198
Posted: Mon Jul 16 11:47:56 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 17-Jul-84 01:34:30 EDT
Organization: AT&T Information Systems Laboratories, Denver
Lines: 57



>       I'm personally VERY straight. I think gays either have a hormonal
> imbalance (very small percentage) or are mentally disturbed.(much larger
> percentage)...

   I see you're very open-minded.

>       But as to Trish's remark about men in general being "macho assholes"
> I could say that women in general are teasing bitches!

>       I know of many men who are totally withdrawn from contact with women
> for fear of rejection. These guys are afraid of the typical woman who
> (with or without malice and forthought) allows a man to "wine and dine"
> and fork over the bucks for her- only to tell him to shove off next week.

Where should I begin.  First of all, people who are bitter tend to
hang around with others who have the same negative attitude about the
same things, so they can encourage each other.  I have also known some
men that withdrew from women.  My opinion is that they were totally
unprepared to deal with emotional upset, being brought up to think that
they should always be in control.  They consequently had no idea how to
recover and go on with their lives.  Sad...  As for the "typical woman"
business,  YOU asked them out.  It usually takes a few dates
(sometimes more, sometimes less) to figure out that a guy is not right for
you.  I HATE dating for fear of the very attitude you express!  I almost
never do it because I always think "this guy is spending so much money on
me I better make up my mind about him soon"; plus, I always felt that on
some level I was being bought.

> I known several otherwise good, honest women who have used their sexuallity
> to subsidize their incomes in this way.

>       I'm married, but if I was back in the market again one principle to
> which I would strongly adhere would be to make the first and second date
> a mutually pleasing- costless outing; playing tennis, bicycling or going
> to the zoo,etc. A chance to feel each other out with nothing but some
> time invested for both parties.

>       In summary, women may have been burned by men but a lot of men
> have been burned by women! It may be a regenerative effect. I think
> with a little more honesty on both sides, both would benefit (without
> having to become gay?!)

   In summary, I can see how both you and Trish could get caught up in
negative attitudes about the opposite sex.  In the past, the sexual
roles and boundries being what they were, attitudes like both of yours
are fairly common.  I do think, though, that things are changing, and
they're changing because people like me get hurt, recover, then go out
looking again with a (mostly) good attitude that there is someone out there
that I will again be crazy about, and who will also be a good human
being.  I think most people are basically good, and hopeful, and well-
intentioned.  Also, male/female roles ARE changing, slow but sure, and I
think it's definitely for the better.  ...The End

                                                        Anita