Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site ames.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!zehntel!dual!ames!barry
From: barry@ames.UUCP (Kenn Barry)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Pleasing your partner???
Message-ID: <417@ames.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 17-Jul-84 03:32:08 EDT
Article-I.D.: ames.417
Posted: Tue Jul 17 03:32:08 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 18-Jul-84 02:44:27 EDT
References: <611@opus.UUCP>
Organization: NASA-Ames Research Center, Mtn. View, CA
Lines: 23

[<+>]
> Second, and I guess this is
> really what I'm getting at, focusing on EITHER yourself OR your partner is
> missing the point.  It's the union of the two that counts, and you can't
> separate out either member of the union without losing something in the
> process.

	While there is nothing in the article I'm responding to I truly
disagree with, I think it may be interpreting the idea of "pleasing your
partner" in too harsh a way. I agree it's the union that counts, and
it's one of sex's nicest features that one can be utterly self-indulgent
and utterly generous simultaneously. But there's something nice in sometimes
playing this wonderful game as performer, and sometimes as recipient.
Mutuality is the baseline, but done properly, performing or being performed
for, are expanded versions of mutuality, not opposed to it. It's the attitude
that counts. As long as you enjoy the pleasure you give, as well as the
pleasure you receive, you can't go too far wrong.

 FRIENDS AND FOES: Note name-change             Kenn Barry
 from "ames-lm" to "ames" in                    NASA-Ames Research Center
 UUCP address                                   Moffett Field, CA
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------
        Electric Avenue:              {dual,hao,menlo70,hplabs}!ames!barry