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From: sebb@pyuxss.UUCP (S Badian)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: sense (as in 'common')
Message-ID: <364@pyuxss.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 17-Jul-84 11:46:58 EDT
Article-I.D.: pyuxss.364
Posted: Tue Jul 17 11:46:58 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 18-Jul-84 02:47:55 EDT
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Organization: Bell Communications Research, Piscataway N.J.
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	NO, NO, NO! DO NOT, I say, DO NOT let on that you are
emotionally smitten! You're giving the whole game away before
it has even begun. You have to realize that people don't like
to be hit over the head with things. They like to figure out
those sort of things for themselves. All of a sudden this bolt
hits them out of the blue---WOW, that person is interested in
me! Now, sometimes the reaction isn't WOW, but UGH. Hey, you
got to take the good with the bad. But most of the time if
you come right out and say that you're emotionally attached
to someone(especially if you barely know them) you're only 
setting yourself up for an UGH. The women are going to look
at you like you're a little strange, believe me. If anyone
came up to me and told me that they thought I could be the
one, I'd think they were a little looney. I'm not saying
that having those feelings is a little looney. I've had them
myself. But you don't go around shouting them to the heavens
for all the world to know. It's just not the subtle way to
do things. And subtlety, my friend, is a big part of the game.
	What you want to do is put aside the emotional attach-
ment you may have formed(I think infatuation is a good word
for it.) and work on the friendship. Put up a good front;
just appear friendly. You don't want to give anyone the
feeling that you're looking for a life-long commitment
right off the bat. Play it cool. That doesn't mean you can't
ask her to dinner and the movies. That's construed as a date,
but it won't hurt your search for friendship any. But don't
start talking about commitments or emotional attachments.
That's not necessary. You'll get to that in time, if at all.
After you get to know someone you realize that she(in your
case) is not exactly as you imagined. And you don't want
a commitment at all. But she is fun to be with, and you
enjoy each others company. So now you're friends with none
of the romantic garbage to get in the way. If you talk
about the romantic stuff right off the bat, you've killed
your chance for the friendship.
	Sure, it's hard, but, hey nobody said this was going
to be a picnic. You have to learn to take things a little
slower. Remember that honesty is good, but being brutally
honest can get you into a lot of trouble. You don't have
to lie, just don't tell the whole truth all the time. You're
allowed to keep certain things under wraps(and I don't mean
the money you cheated Uncle Sam out of last year!).
	If you happen to have anymore questions on the
subtlties of dating and friendship, I'd be happy to answer.
I have plenty more advice. But you should do what you think
is right for you. All of us out here will just provide a 
little coaching from the sidelines.

Sharon Badian