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From: moiram@tektronix.UUCP (Moira Mallison )
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: To Breed or Not to Breed - Part I
Message-ID: <3185@tektronix.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 24-Jul-84 18:17:49 EDT
Article-I.D.: tektroni.3185
Posted: Tue Jul 24 18:17:49 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 28-Jul-84 10:07:36 EDT
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 58


(tick...tock...tick....tock)

Having reached a crossroads in my life that will require the formulating of
a new five-year-plan, I have been doing some pondering on the logistics of
single parenthood.  Several different questions have popped up and I will
devote a separate article to each of them rather than write one LONG one.

(* Disclaimer: all characters and situations are completely fictitious.
   Any resemblance between these descriptions and reality is merely a 
   fig newton of your imagination                                       *)

The first scenario involves a woman who decides that she wants to get preg-
nant and is not involved in an ongoing relationship with a man.  The 
question involved is one of logistics.  Discounting, for the sake of discussion,
the obvious solution of the sperm bank, how does she go about choosing the 
father of her child(ren)?  (note:  in all cases I'm assuming that the woman
will not acknowledge the father legally  (doesn't put his name on the birth
certificate).
	
  1.  Pick up someone in a bar.  
	Advantages: 	it doesn't take much planning.  
			no hassles later about the father interfering.
	Disadvantages:	don't know much about the father's genes.
			no opportunity for the child to know his/her father
 			on any level.
  
  2.  An arrangement with a close male friend who is willing to contribute
      (ala Big Chill).
	Advantages:	You would have the knowledge about the father's 
			background...and he would (possibly) be 
			available to answer questions that would come up later.
			The child could have some relationship with the father
			and perhaps be told the truth at some later time.
	Disadvantages:  The arrangement would have to be completely under
			stood between the two parties in order for the child
			not to come between them later.
			It may be difficult to suggest to the potential father.
			Introducing sex into an heretofore platonic rela-
			tionship may stir up its own set of problems.
	
  3. A non-arrangement with a male friend (*SEDUCTION*).
	Advantages:	same as #2
	Disadvantages:  Introducing sex into an heretofore platonic...
	Issues:		Is there something morally/ethically wrong with 
			not being honest about wanting to get pregnant?
			If the male is willing to be seduced, at what point
			does the sperm cease to be a gift and becomes some-
			thing which is taken from him unwittingly?  The
			assumption must also be made that the male has not
			taken contraceptive measures;  how does this affect
			the situation?	When, if ever, do you tell the father
			that the child is his?

Looking forward to some comments (and probably some flames)...

			Moira Mallison
			tektronix!moiram