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From: chabot@amber.DEC (Lisa Chabot)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Happy as a homosexual
Message-ID: <2206@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 2-Jul-84 10:14:40 EDT
Article-I.D.: decwrl.2206
Posted: Mon Jul  2 10:14:40 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 3-Jul-84 04:41:58 EDT
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Organization: DEC Engineering Network
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Alan S. Driscoll said:
> I've noticed that many women go through a stage of being angry at
> all men when they begin to find themselves.  This is natural and
> understandable.  What's sad is when a women never overcomes this
> anger and bitterness.  It's a lousy place to get stuck!

It's not just women who get stuck here.  If you keep up on net.singles, every
so often up pops a crop of "I can't get a steady because women aren't up to my
standards (they want to date other jerks / they aren't intelligent enough)."  I
suppose you could say that this is because the men posting these letters are
beginning to find their social selves...but some seem to get stuck in this
angry stage. 

If it's sad to never overcome the anger and bitterness, then it's also just as
sad to have to deal with the recurring causes of this anger and bitterness, and
they do still exist--inequality under the law (e.g., the draft), inequality in
pay rates, and the expectations of society (husband's job more important to
family than wife's, women expected to take non-aggressive or conciliatory
roles).  I realize that these inequalities also bind men; I'm all in favor of
working to reduce them. 

I know and love too many fine and supportive individuals to lump men together
in a despised heap; the support in part comes from their understanding that the
frustration towards the inequalities I do at times demonstrate is not a
rejection of them. 

Things are getting better, but they're not right yet.  I'll admit that still
flinch over old scars, such as being told that a degree from MIT could get me
a job as a technical secretary (an honorable profession, however, not quite
what I had in mind, and besides, then how in the world could I pay back these
loans?). But, they only ache just before a storm, so just smile and tuck the
lap robe around me, and leave me rocking on the porch, reminiscing and 
napping... 

	L S Chabot

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"...For it is in this inadequate flesh that each of us must serve his dream;
and so, must fail in the dream's service, and must parody that which he holds
dearest.  To this we seem condemned, being what we are.  Thus, one and all, we
play false to the dream, and it evades us, and we dwindle into responsible
citizens."