Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 7/1/84; site CSL-Vax.ARPA Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!zehntel!dual!amd!decwrl!CSL-Vax!brain From: brain@CSL-Vax.ARPA (Sam Brain) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Jokes (ethic & dirty), limericks (also dirty). Message-ID: <3119@CSL-Vax.ARPA> Date: Fri, 24-Aug-84 14:37:40 EDT Article-I.D.: CSL-Vax.3119 Posted: Fri Aug 24 14:37:40 1984 Date-Received: Mon, 3-Sep-84 09:57:19 EDT Distribution: net Organization: Stanford University Lines: 58 Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake? A: One more drunk. -------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the Irish Olymic Fencing Team getting off the plane at LAX and finding that their barbed wire was in NY. ------------------------------------------------------------------------- Did you hear about the homosexual Irishmen? Gerald Fitzpatrick, and Patrick Fitzgerald. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ A little dog goes into a saloon in the Wild West, and beckons the barman. "Hey barman, gimmie a whisky" The Barman ignores him "Hey barman, gimmie a beer" Still ignored. "Hey barman, gimmie a drink of water" The barman takes out his six-shooter and shoots off the dog's left paw. The dog runs out the saloon, howling in pain. Three months later, the wee dog appears again, wearing cowboy boots, jeans, chaps, a Stetson, gun belt, and guns. He ambles slowly into the saloon, goes up to the bar, leans over it, and says to the barman (John Wayne accent): "I'm here t'git the man that shot ma paw" Groan.... ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Warning: a dirty one, from my disgusting brother, Tam. Q: What does Joni Mitchell put behind her ears to make her pretty? A: Her ankles. Warned you! Actually, that was a clean one. The other one he told me is about bloody mary's. Don't ask! --------------------------------------------------------------------------- There was a young man called Adaire, Was screwing his chick on the stair, But the bannister broke, So he quickened his stroke, And finished her off in mid-air. There was a young woman from Bude, Who went for a swim in the nude, But a man in a punt, Grabbed at her ....elbow, And said "Hey, missus, you can't swim in here, its private property."