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Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!mgnetp!ihnp4!pesnta!jiml
From: jiml@pesnta.UUCP (Jim Livingston)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: REAL PROGRAMMERS
Message-ID: <2488@pesnta.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 7-Sep-84 16:42:38 EDT
Article-I.D.: pesnta.2488
Posted: Fri Sep  7 16:42:38 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 12-Sep-84 03:09:29 EDT
Distribution: net
Organization: Perkin-Elmer DSG, Santa Clara, Calif.
Lines: 69


If this has been on the net before, I apologise in advance.


		REAL PROGRAMMERS don't write specs -
		users should consider themselves lucky
		to get any programs at all, and take
		what they get.

		REAL PROGRAMMERS don't comment their
		code. If it was hard to write, it
		should be hard to read.

		REAL PROGRAMMERS don't eat quiche.
		They eat Twinkies, and Szechwan
		food. Do not go out to eat
		Szechwan food with REAL PROGRAMMERS
		unless you are prepared to fight
		bitterly over the last spring roll.

		REAL PROGRAMMERS don't write in COBOL.
		COBOL is for wimpy application programmers.

		REAL PROGRAMMERS don't play tennis, or any
		other sport which requires you to change
		clothes. Mountain climbing is OK, and
		REAL PROGRAMMERS wear their climbing boots
		to work in case a mountain should suddenly
		spring up in the middle of the computer
		room.

		REAL PROGRAMMERS don't write in FORTRAN.
		FORTRAN is for pip stress freaks and
		crystalography weanies.

		REAL PROGRAMMERS never work 9 to 5, if
		they are there at 9 AM. it's because
		they were up all night.

		REAL PROGRAMMERS don't write in PL/1.
		PL/1 is for programmers who can't
		decide whether to write in FORTRAN, or
		COBOL.

		REAL PROGRAMMERS don't do documentation.
		Documentation is for simps who can't
		figure out the listing.

		REAL PROGRAMMERS' programs never work
		right the first time. But if you throw
		them on the machine they can be patched
		into working in "only a few" 30 hour
		debugging sessions.

		REAL PROGRAMMERS don't write in Pascal,
		Mesa, Ada or any of those other pinko
		computer science languages. Strong typing
		is for people with weak memories.

		REAL PROGRAMMERS don't write application
		programs, they program right down on the
		bare metal. Application programming is for
		feebs who can't do systems programming.

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" Mediocrity is OK "