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From: rick@ucla-cs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: ACCJ
Message-ID: <1094@ucla-cs.ARPA>
Date: Fri, 7-Sep-84 10:05:41 EDT
Article-I.D.: ucla-cs.1094
Posted: Fri Sep  7 10:05:41 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 16-Sep-84 05:32:30 EDT
Organization: UCLA CS Dept.
Lines: 52

<====yum yum ====>

Since I'm new to the group I don't know if this should actually be YACCJ
(acronym explained after joke), but I'm sure no-one has heard this one:

   It seems that morale during World War II was getting low so a group of
actors and other performers and their families put on a benefit show for
the troups in England.  As Charlie Chaplin was lounging around the lobby
prior to the show he spotted an old buddy. "George, George Patton, what
are you doing here?", exclaimed the surprised Chaplin.
   Patton replied "Why I was in London for a meeting of the strategic staff
and decided to see the show. Are you going to be performing Charlie?".
   Chaplin replied "No, not me. But my wife Una [prounounce "oona"] will be
dancing in Swan Lake."
   "Well, that's good anyway. Too bad you will not be performing. How is Una
these days?"
   "Frankly, George, I'm worried about her. I'm afraid that she is getting
mentally unstable; I'm afraid that she is a kleptomaniac. Things just keep
disappearing when she is around."
   Patton consoled Chaplin "I wouldn't worry about it Charlie, I'm sure there
is a rational explanation. Here why don't you come sit with me during the
show?"
   "Certainly, thank you. I hope you are right about Una, though."
   As the two were approaching their seats, the lights in the theatre started
to dim, and then suddenly all the lights in the house went off. The theatre
was plunged into darkness and the crowd started to panic. There was a great
commotion until the lights came back on after a minute or two.
   Chaplin and Patton again made their way to their seats, a little worse
for wear. As they were seated the lights began to dim again, but this time
the show was about to start. As the emcee was welcoming everyone to the show
Patton suddenly realized "My gun. It's gone. My pearl handled revolver is
gone! Someone must have stolen it during the blackout!"
   Chaplin replied "Oh no, George. Well, the show is about to start. We'll
have to look for it later."
   At that the spotlight hit the stage as the first act was about to start.
Out onto the stage came a group of ballet dancers.
   Chaplin stared in shock and turned to Patton and exclaimed:


   "Patton, me boy, is that your gat in Una's tutu?"

==========================================

Okay, now YACCJ is "Yet another Chatanooga Choo-choo Joke" [singing ...].



					Rick Gillespie
					...!ucbvax!ucla-cs!rick
					rick@ucla-cs

     "Things are more like they are now than they ever have been before."