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Path: utzoo!hcrvax!paulb
From: paulb@hcrvax.UUCP (Paul Bonneau)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: Raising kids out of wedlock
Message-ID: <1185@hcrvax.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 10-Sep-84 21:31:08 EDT
Article-I.D.: hcrvax.1185
Posted: Mon Sep 10 21:31:08 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 11-Sep-84 00:28:34 EDT
Organization: Human Computing Resources, Toronto
Lines: 39

[Insert most hated insect here]

Hello.  I have only recently begun to read this newsgroup (since I
have only been recently begun to think about children) and therefore
do not know if the following topic has already been the subject of
discussion.

My girlfriend (boy I hate that word!) and I both agree on our
dissatisfaction with the concept of legal and/or religious marriage.
Neither of us are religious and for purposes of separation, a couple
is considered to be common-law wed after living together for some
period  of time (I don't know how long).

However, we are both very much in love, and at some point in the
relatively near future, want to have children.  I have been told by
people that this is an irresponsible attitude - that children need
to identify with a mommy and daddy who are husband and wife.

I disagree with that because I believe that the concept of husband
and wife does not have to be legal or religious.  I can consider
myself to be the "husband" of my "wife" from an emotional standpoint
alone - which seems to me to be all that (young) children understand
about their parent's marriage anyway.

Other problems are:
	1) Whose last name is given to the children,
	2) Will the children be the subjects of teasing at school
	   because their parents have different last names,
	3) Will the children be confused why their parents are
	   not married when they are old enough to comprehend the
	   difference between their parents and others (assuming
	   marriage is still the norm).

If you can think of any other problems or merits inherent in this
type of relationship, I would be interested to see and discuss
them with you.
-- 
Time to get back to net.apathy...   Paul R. Bonneau
				    {decvax|watmath|utzoo}!hcr!hcrvax!paulb