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From: sdo@brunix.UUCP (Scott Oaks)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: On coming out
Message-ID: <9352@brunix.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 5-Sep-84 10:46:57 EDT
Article-I.D.: brunix.9352
Posted: Wed Sep  5 10:46:57 1984
Date-Received: Fri, 14-Sep-84 05:40:42 EDT
Lines: 51

/

Ardnt:  "Now is NOT the time to come out!"

And so cry those who have only our best interests at heart:  Save
yourselves from yourselves before it is too late.  Now I'm not exactly
stupid:  I realize that we're now in the process of a rather marked swing
to the right in this country.   And the effects of this swing may have
profound effects on everyone, most of all those persons whom right-wing
politicians view as potentially threatening.

This does not mean that now is not the time to come out--indeed, from the
political perspective which if I were chartiable I would attribute to
Ardnt's above statement, it means precisely the opposite--the only way to
insure the gains that have been made in gay rights over the past few years
is to remain both politically active and out.  Only if we allow others
to force us back into the closet (or to remain there) will we really
have to worry.

>From a non-political (and more important) perspective, whether or not now
is the time to come out must of course be decided individually.  But
whatever the social circumstances, if one feels it's time to come out then
one should take advantage of that feeling.  We all know that this act
sometimes causes problems, creates new fears, etc.  But I've never met
anyone who, at "the bottom line," wasn't happier being out (to whatever
extent he or she was out); on the other hand, I've known far too many
people who sit around miserable much of the time because they are, for
whatever reasons, not able to come out.

This is not to say that I think everyone should automatically come out
tommorow (though personally I feel that if everyone did, much of the
straight world would be forced to reconcile the differences between their
perceptions of homosexuals and the diversity of the gay world, and the
social climate would correspondingly improve).  Nor is being out always
pleasant:  recent net articles have discussed people who have lost their
jobs, had their tires slashed, etc.; I recently returned from a summer in
Chicago where I was occassionally harrassed by the Chicago Police and at
one point witnessed a somewhat brutal near-riot between the police
and the gay community.  Okay, so these things happen.  Shall we then take
Ardnt's advice and stick our heads in the sand because of them?  Or shall
we continue to try to make progress against societies misconceptions?

Each person must decide based on individual feelings when it is time to come
out.  But when the time is right for each person, then that person ought to
come out and ought to be able to come out without hearing alarmist
statements such as Ardnt's above (which unfortunately is echoed all too often
by gays as well as straights).  For if we follow this purportedly loving
advice, it is only we who lose.

Scott Oaks			"The strength of the Enemy is great indeed,
				 but it is still less than fear makes it."