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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!tektronix!uw-beaver!ssc-vax!fluke!dbb
From: dbb@fluke.UUCP (Dave Bartley)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Losing MOTOS Friends to Marriage
Message-ID: <711@vax1.fluke.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 27-Aug-84 16:36:14 EDT
Article-I.D.: vax1.711
Posted: Mon Aug 27 16:36:14 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 30-Aug-84 11:57:23 EDT
Organization: John Fluke Mfg. Co., Everett, WA
Lines: 36

[I was going to mail this, but what the heck]

I'm male and not married, but these days I might as well be
considering how much time my ["spousal equivalent", house-sharing
SO, whatever] and I spend together.  This is the first time I've
been on this side of the fence, having been usually in Jim's
position in the past.  Here's some random thoughts that might give
some insight.

When you get that involved with someone, initially you inherit a
whole new set of friends to deal with along with your own.  Yes,
sometimes you spend evenings apart but in our case anyway they are
few in number.

Maybe this will change with time, but so far (6 months) there's
nobody I'd rather be with than her, so we share friends.  Assuming
an equitable arrangment, a maximum of half of the time is available
to spend with friends.  It's actually less, of course, because we
often want to be ALONE together.

It's hard.  I want to maintain all the friendships I had but I find
that the time between contacts with them is much further apart now.
Jealousy and insecurity don't enter into it for either of us.
Sometimes one of us doesn't get along with one of the other's
friends which further cuts down on available time.

I'd be interested to know if, in practice, this improves with time.
I believe it does, but how about it, net-people in long-term
relationships?


-- 

Dave Bartley	  UUCP:	{decvax,ihnp4}!uw-beaver!
John Fluke Mfg Co.			 allegra! fluke!dbb
Everett, WA  USA	{ucbvax,hplabs}!lbl-csam!