Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site zehntel.UUCP Path: utzoo!watmath!clyde!burl!ulysses!mhuxl!houxm!vax135!cornell!uw-beaver!tektronix!hplabs!zehntel!zinfandel!joe From: joe@zinfandel.UUCP Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: An Open Letter To Jeff... - (nf) Message-ID: <1586@zehntel.UUCP> Date: Thu, 30-Aug-84 04:23:24 EDT Article-I.D.: zehntel.1586 Posted: Thu Aug 30 04:23:24 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 4-Sep-84 07:35:38 EDT Sender: berry@zehntel.UUCP Organization: Zehntel Inc., Walnut Creek, CA Lines: 57 #N:zinfandel:10900050:000:2510 zinfandel!joe Aug 28 14:50:00 1984 28 Aug. 84 Dear Jeff, Hello. I have a friend who was said to suffer an inferiority complex overlying a superiority complex. You have the same problem. You seem *much* too hung up on the imaginary values you give men and women. Try judging only on the basis of each little personal experience. See the pretty woman across the street? You DO NOT KNOW what she's like! Did you exchange a few words with a woman at the water cooler at work today? You DO know a LITTLE about her. Was the talk witty? Was it fun? If so, you can begin to expect that IT MIGHT be fun to talk more with her. If it wasn't fun, then it MIGHT NOT be fun to talk with her more. This might be because she wasn't feeling good, or had a lousy personality or because she was turned off by something, but the "why" isn't important because for now you have to limit yourself right now to concentrate on simply paying attention. It will be a new skill for you and when you get good at it, it will reward you greatly. Another tip: This paying-attention skill will pay off in another way because women sense this paying-attention innately and react immediately by being open and listening themselves. They think "This guy's paying attention. He probably won't step on my psychic toes if he's awake in there." It's really boring to be around someone who is really busy emoting about some fetid tragedy he feels he *has* to write in his own head.. The only value to psychic playwriting is that you have control, and I suspect you're afraid of releasing that control. Relax! You were never in control of anyone else anyway, and unless you give people enough attention to let them affect you they won't give you much fun. People LIKE to affect people, and the women I've known are better at surprising, delighting me and enthralling me than I could hope for. It's very safe; women are very gentle. Joe Weinstein PS: It's also my opinion that you have this ability to open up and pay attention because you are religious and seem to pay attention to your idea of god. I"m all for it. It's the safest thing you could do. He-she-it will never hurt you because that is how he-she-it is defined! Now, if you are ready to risk paying attention to something or someone palpable, out there, and in some sense REAL you will get the experience, courage and benefits that come from the "real world". Stop thinking and pay attention. The only reason you are unhappy is because you got it wrong.