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From: ken@ihuxq.UUCP (ken perlow)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Losing MOTOS Friends to Marriage
Message-ID: <1183@ihuxq.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 3-Sep-84 13:09:33 EDT
Article-I.D.: ihuxq.1183
Posted: Mon Sep  3 13:09:33 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 4-Sep-84 07:56:46 EDT
References: <811@abnjh.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, IL
Lines: 40

--
>> Since I turned 23 I have experienced an unusual phenomenon.  

>> Did you ever notice that when you have a MOTOS friend that gets
>> married they decrease their contacts (phone, letters) with you,
>> and by so doing they discourage you from keeping in contact? ...

>> Now not ALL my married friends get this way, but it does seem to be
>> the norm...

>> 					Jim Collymore

I'm about to turn 36, unmarried, and I've seen this a lot as one by
one, old friends get married.  It's especially annoying when I've
been fairly close to both members of the couple.  It has nothing to
do with their living together, which most were doing for years and
we were still good friends.  It's when they finally give in to
whatever pressures they are feeling to get that piece of paper.
Then, magically, him and her become "Him & Her, Inc." (a wholly owned
subsidiary of The American Dream, Inc.).  And poof!  They disappear.

My current working hypothesis is to think of marriage as a tool.
Like a hammer or a saw, it has an intended best use, though you can
be creative and find many others.  But though it may be creative
to use a hammer as a door-stop, it doesn't do as good a job at
stopping doors as it does at pounding nails.   From a functional
standpoint, a hammer "wants" to pound nails.

And so it is with marriage, whose intended use is to cement a
nuclear family.  Some couples have a marvelously creative time with
marriage, but sooner or later seem to realize that they'd better
use the right tool for the right job.  And since they bought the
tool already...
-- 
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