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Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site sunybcs.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!sunybcs!forys
From: forys@sunybcs.UUCP (Jeff Forys)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: RE: Re: RE: Re: External appearances
Message-ID: <307@sunybcs.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 10-Sep-84 21:28:44 EDT
Article-I.D.: sunybcs.307
Posted: Mon Sep 10 21:28:44 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 11-Sep-84 00:44:55 EDT
References: <545@ubc-vision.CDN>, <1965@randvax.UUCP>, <291@sunybcs.UUCP>, <1974@randvax.UUCP>
Organization: SUNY/Buffalo Computer Science
Lines: 56

From edhall@randvax.UUCP (Ed Hall)  Posted: Mon Sep  3 14:08:24 1984
> Personally, I'm not at all happy with this state of affairs [external
> appearances making a difference].  But, sadly, I'll either have to live
> with it, or become a hermit.

From edhall@randvax.UUCP (Ed Hall)  Posted: Sun Sep  9 08:41:02 1984
> I deal with it by simply not letting it bother me.  I maintain my
> appearance because it suits my professional ends, and because
> *it_makes_me_happy_to_do_so*. [sic]

Something is wrong here.  On September 3 you stated that you are "not at
all happy with this state of affairs" and that "sadly, you'll have to live
with it" which implies it *does* bother you to some extent.  Less than one
week later, you state clearly that it doesn't bother you and that it even
makes you "happy" to go along with it.  I read your article over *five*
times and it seems to me you have contradicted yourself here (or, you've
undergone a major personality change :-).  At this point, I will assume
that the most recent posting is reflective of your *current* views -- cor-
rect me if I'm wrong.

> When I meet someone on a professional basis, I want them to (1) respect me
> and (2) be comfortable with me.

From my experience, it seems that more people are more comfortable around
others when they feel superior to them.  You are trying to "impress" them
and from my point of view, that is different from making them comfortable.

> Most of the people I have to deal with and get along with aren't friends,
> but people I only see occasionally, or under impersonal conditions.  Jeff
> Forys might be in a different situation, and so may be able to look the
> same at work as on weekends.

Alright, you may have an advantage here.  My working experience is probably
not as varied as yours as I am still going to school.  However, in *every*
job I've had up until now, I have been able to dress as I please provided I
did what I was supposed to do.  Yes, I have worked for many people who wore
suits and ties and so far, they have *all* been impressed with the programs
I wrote for them and usually recommend me to someone they know (this must be
based on my ability, not my clothes, right?).  Also, when I've held "real"
jobs, there seemed to be a "core" of people I've worked with/for and, each
time, I managed to become friends or at least on good terms with all of them
("friends" meaning they are still friends today and not just "friends" while
I worked there).  I really don't think I could work under "impersonal condi-
tions" for a long length of time.  For me to work somewhere, I need a couple
of (silly?) friends around and also like it when people start telling me
stuff about themselves (they "trust" me so I "trust" them -- it might be
dangerous, but I'll take the risk).  I realize for many people, this sort of
relationship is impossible or just unimportant so please remember, these are
only *my* views and I kinda doubt whether many others feel the same way.

They pick me up when I'm feeling blue			What a strange person,
Now how about you.					Jeff Forys

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