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From: mokhtar@ubc-vision.CDN (mokhtar)
Newsgroups: net.women,net.singles
Subject: RE:Re: What is sensitivity good for anyway?
Message-ID: <562@ubc-vision.CDN>
Date: Mon, 10-Sep-84 20:59:42 EDT
Article-I.D.: ubc-visi.562
Posted: Mon Sep 10 20:59:42 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 11-Sep-84 03:22:10 EDT
Organization: UBC Vision, Vancouver, B.C., Canada
Lines: 36

> I have to agree that sensitivity is probably a minority orientation,
> and that many women will reject a sensitive man for anything from
> a vague sense of discomfort over his feelings to the idea that he
> is not ``man'' enough.  But my own experience is that there are more
> women looking for sensitive men than there are sensitive men.  All
> too often I've seen a friend ``discover'' a sensitive man, only to
> find out that she really has just found an overgrown baby who is
> most sensitive to his own needs and in her feelings only so far as
> it allows him to further his own ends.

> There are enough ``sensitive'' assholes out there to give sensitive
> men a bad name.  At least you know where the macho types are coming
> from.

>		-Ed Hall
>		decvax!randvax!edhall

   If he was an asshole, perhaps he wasn't very sensitive to begin with. If
she mistakenly judged him to be sensitive, she is suffering from her own wrong
judgement. Assholes are always out there and they can give anything a bad name.
Aren't misunderstandings about what it means to be `sensitive' more likely to
give sensitivity a bad name? 
  
   If she is truly searching for sensitivity, she can not expect to find it in
a man who worries about playing masculine because there is simply
no room in that for sensitivity even if we like to believe to the contrary.
That means that she can no longer play feminine. That requires a change of
attitude. And this change is necessary because if she sticks to her own sex
role, she will be supporting the male sex role in the men she meets and the
male sex role is not very friendly to sensitivity.
              
   It's easy to say that many women `look' for sensitive men. I wonder `how'
they look for them!
  
       Farzin Mokhtarian        < ubc-vision!mokhtar >