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From: nerad@closus.DEC
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re:  Rape and Redbook fantasies
Message-ID: <3436@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 27-Aug-84 10:29:09 EDT
Article-I.D.: decwrl.3436
Posted: Mon Aug 27 10:29:09 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 30-Aug-84 20:10:33 EDT
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{libation...}

Yes, I'm back!  I really have been here all the time, but my work has kept me 
from writing for a LONG time...

I am fairly sure that if Playboy or Penthouse went around and asked what are 
the average readership males favorite fantasies, one among the top rated would 
be:  "To have a beautiful, wicked woman (to my specifications) come and ravish 
me under circumstances I could not control."  Sounds fine right?   So why is 
the emotional reaction so different to Redbook's "rape fantasy?"  Because they 
used the word rape.

I think that Jeff et al are correct in stating that "ravishment" rather than 
"rape" is the appropriate way to state this.  The average female is 
conditioned in this society to believe:
    
    		a)  sex is bad   (and when/if she outgrows this, that:)
    		b)  sex is socially complicated--it leads to relationships
    		c)  sex is socially complicated--it leads to pregnancy
    		d)  sex is socially complicated--it leads to rejection

All of these conditions can be avoided by abrogating responsibility, which is 
a condition that women are urged toward in their sexual attitudes at the same 
time that they are told that it is their responsibility to be VIRTUOUS.  The 
role of the man is to GET IT, the role of the woman to RESIST.  This is 
inculcated in every aspect of society.  (Not the opinions of the management, 
before I get flames back...)

    		a)  sex is bad
    			but if you resist unsuccessfully, it ain't your fault
    		b)  sex leads to relationships
    			but if you are ravished, then:
    				either it's a one time thing
    				or--part of the fantasy is that he's so
    				    taken with you that HE will maintain it.
    		c)  sex leads to pregnancy
    			but never in fantasies, unless you want it to
    		d)  sex leads to rejection
    			but if it's your fantasy, it can't reject you unless
    				you have a taste for it.

Ravishment fantasies are the erotic Walter Mitty fantasy of the american 
female.  Something that takes you out of the responsibilities of the 
conditions that surround you.  If Redbook called it "ravishment," it would be 
like any sector of the press giving up a weighted word--wouldn't happen.  But 
I wonder, if they did the same questionairre over with two options in the 
place of the one--with the choice of "rape" or "ravish"--if they wouldn't come 
up with very different results.

    			Shava Nerad
    			Telematic Systems (@DEC Ed. Svcs.)
    			{decvax, allegra}!decwrl!rhea!closus!nerad