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From: saquigley@watmath.UUCP (Sophie Quigley)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Ashamed of being a full-time mother?
Message-ID: <8866@watmath.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 5-Sep-84 04:12:14 EDT
Article-I.D.: watmath.8866
Posted: Wed Sep  5 04:12:14 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 6-Sep-84 04:10:15 EDT
References: <5102@utcsrgv.UUCP>
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 38


From Peter Rowley

>Of course, the problem with promoting mothering as a career (indeed, it need
>not be a lifelong career, as it could occupy only one or two decades of one's
>life in a full-time way) is that there are negative associations with it,
>along with all the positive ones.  Feelings of dependence, isolation in the
>home, and stultifying work.  But these feelings do not appear to be intrinsic.
>Financial dependence can be eliminated by splitting all income 50-50. Isolation
>can be alleviated by setting aside time when the mother can leave the house,
>leaving the child with father, relatives, or paid assistance.  Finally,
>housework can be shared, though this might be tough for low income people.

>It has never been my impression that mothering *per se*, that is, the
>raising of children, guiding their emotional, physical, and intellectual
>development, is considered an unskilled or menial job.  Surely to help in
>the development of a healthy, vital member of society is as valuable as,
>say, helping to develop a compiler.

I think that the worst problem of all with promoting motherhood as a career,
that you mentioned but haven't expanded on is the fact that it is not a
lifelong career, and that many women who take motherhood as a full-time
career have a lot of trouble when that career is over, either accepting the
fact that it is over, or looking for another career.  Even though raising
children is NOT a menial job, and is a very valuable one as you pointed out,
I disagree with you on how it is considered by society at large.  My observation
has been that it is considered a non-job and that women who stay at home to
raise children are assumed to be, in many people's minds, and certainly in 
their future employer's minds, "doing nothing".  When it comes to going back on
the job market, mothering skills are usually never considered as valuable
skills; on the contrary, mothers who try to get back on the job market after
a few years of absence to raise children often have to face the attitude that
their choice of motherhood as a first career is not a sign of great skillfullnes
but rather a sign of stupidity: "obviously she can't really be very intelligent,
why else would she choose to stay home and raise children?".

Sophie Quigley
...!{clyde,ihnp4,decvax}!watmath!saquigley