Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site west44.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!genrad!mit-eddie!godot!harvard!seismo!mcvax!ukc!west44!malcolm From: malcolm@west44.UUCP (Malcolm Shute.) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Spoof on the output produced by the "rn"-installation program Message-ID: <383@west44.UUCP> Date: Sun, 28-Oct-84 15:42:23 EST Article-I.D.: west44.383 Posted: Sun Oct 28 15:42:23 1984 Date-Received: Tue, 30-Oct-84 19:33:06 EST Organization: CS Dept., Westfield College, London Lines: 81 Recently at ...ukc!kcl-cs, we received a copy of "rn" (the new, super-dooper read-news program). It came complete with a 67 block shell-script which we were told to run. This shell-script ran through a series of tests and checks on our machine and operating system, and used the information to install a working version of the "rn" program for us. The dialogue was amazing (to say the least!). In fact we ran it twice, it was so good! (On both occassions, we managed to attract a small audience around the terminal, eager not to miss any of the entertainment afforded by the running of the shell-script). (I hasten to add, before any Unix-Wizards try to contact me for information, that on both occassions, I was only a member of the audience, and that Lee McLoughlin actually conducted the performance.) To give you a flavour of the entertainment afforded by running the shell-script, we composed the following (fictitious) log of our dialogue with it. (Please remember that this is being published in net.jokes, so don't take it too seriously. But if you ever get the chance, do watch the real thing in operation -- it is guaranteed to change your attitute to programming in Unix- Shell). ------------------------------------------------------------------------- OK, status System is currently running PRIMOS rev. 19.1f OK, installrn Installing rn... Let's see what your system looks like first... I see that you have initiated this command from a TeleVideo 925 terminal. I'll just check that you've set the time correctly on the status line... Yup, it appears to be O.K.. (You will remember that the clocks go back this weekend though won't you). Let's see what type of processor you have in this machine... Ugh! It doesn't look like any processor which I've ever met before... Can I persuade you instead to let me bring "rn" up on the PDP11, which I noticed on the other side of the room?[y] n Oh very well then! I suppose I'd better work out its instruction set first... Done. I will need to use some strange flag settings on the "ls" command. Please wait while I consult your on-line manual... Let's have a look at your connections to the network... I see that you are connected to ukc. (Quite a robust connection, by the looks of it). If you like, I could also quickly install a direct link to mcvax for you, while you're waiting. Would you like this?[y] y Done. Let's just see where you keep your "cat", "echo" and "rm" binaries... Hello, you don't appear to supporting Unix on this machine! Hold on a moment while I fix it... Would you prefer to have Bourne-shell, C-shell or V-shell?[b,c,v] b O.k., I'm implementing it now... ... ... (Sorry. It's taking a little longer than I imagined) ... ... ... ... . Done. I suppose I ought to think about actually bringing up "rn" now. Hang on... Done. O.k., it's ready for use now. (Please use it carefully at first, some of the instructions might not be complete set yet). Good luck. (And remember to heed all of the manufacturer's safety instructions). $ ps PID TTY TIME CMD 20334 25 0:00 sh 20336 25 0:01 ps $