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From: ellen@ucla-cs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Comprehensive Exam
Message-ID: <1909@ucla-cs.ARPA>
Date: Wed, 31-Oct-84 13:18:35 EST
Article-I.D.: ucla-cs.1909
Posted: Wed Oct 31 13:18:35 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 3-Nov-84 05:45:13 EST
Organization: UCLA CS Dept.
Lines: 63


INSTRUCTIONS:   Read each question carefully.  Answer all questions.
		Time limit - 4 hours.  Begin immediately.

1.  History:	Describe the history of the papcy from its origins to
		the present day, concentrating especially but not
		exclusively on its social, political, economic, religious,
		and philosophical impact on Europe, Asia, America, and Africa.
		Be brief, concise, and specific.

2.  Medicine:	You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of gauze,
		and a bottle of scotch.  Remove your appendix.  Do not
		suture until your work has been inspected.  You have 15 minutes.

3.  Public Speaking:  2,500 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the classroom.
		Calm them.  You may use any ancient language except Latin or
		Greek.

4.  Biology:	Create life.  Estimate the difference in subsequent human
		culture if this form of life had developed 500 million years
		earlier, with special attention to its probable effects
		on the English parliamentary system.  Prove your thesis.

5.  Music:	Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate and perform it with
		flute and drum.  You will find a piano under your seat.

6.  Psychology: Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the
		emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed
		frustrations of each of the following:  Alexander of
		Aphrodisias, Ramases II, Gregory of Nicea, Hammura.
		Support your evaluation with quotations from each man's
		work, making appropriate references.  It is not necessary
		to translate.

7.  Sociology:  Estimate the sociological problems which might accompany
		the end of the world.  Construct an experiment to test
		your theory.

8.  Management
    Science:	Define management.  Define science.  How do they relate?
		Why? Create a generalized algorithm to optimize all
		managerial decisions.  Assuming an 1130 CPU supporting
		50 terminals, each terminal to activate your algorithm;
		design the communications interface and all necessary
		control programs.

9.  Engineering:The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have been
		placed in a box on your desk.  You will also find an
		instruction manual, printed in Swahili.  In ten minutes,
		a hungry Bengal tiger will be admitted to the room.  Take
		whatever action you feel appropriate.  Be prepared to
		justify your decision.
		
10. Economics:	Develop a realistic plan for refinancing the national debt.
		Trace the possible effects of your plan in the following
		areas:  Cubism, the plane controversy, the wave theory of
		light.  Outline a method of preventing the effects.  Criticize
		this method from all possible points of view.  Point out
		deficiencies in your point of view, as demonstrated in your
		answer to the question.

Remember you have 4 hours to complete the test.
Good Luck!