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From: greenber@acf4.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: General Laws of Computing.
Message-ID: <9800020@acf4.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 9-Nov-84 11:11:00 EST
Article-I.D.: acf4.9800020
Posted: Fri Nov  9 11:11:00 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 10-Nov-84 04:46:11 EST
Organization: New York University
Lines: 118
Nf-ID: #N:acf4:9800020:000:2927
Nf-From: acf4!greenber    Nov  9 11:11:00 1984

<>


Below please find my most complete list of the General Laws of Computing.
If you know of some others, send them to me and I'll compile a new list
for the net:

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LAWS OF COMPUTER PROGRAMMING

1.	Any given program, if running, is obsolete.

2.	Any given program costs more, and takes longer.

3.	If a program is useful, it will have to be changed.

4.	If a program is useless, it will have to be documented.

5.	Any program will expand and fill all of available memory -- plus
	one byte.

6.	The value of a program is proportional to the weight of its output.

7.	Program complexity grows until it exceeds the capability of the
	programmer who must maintain it.



TROUTMAN'S PROGRAMMING POSTULATES

1.	If the test installation functions perfectly, all subsequent
	systems will malfunction.

2.	The most harmful error of any program will not be discovered until
	the program has been in production for at least six months.

3.	A Batch Stream that can not be arranged in improper order will be.

4.	Constants aren't.

5.	Variables won't.

6.	Interchangeable Tapes won't.

7.	Profanity is the one language that all programmers know the syntax of.


GILB'S LAWS OF UNRELIABILITY

1.	Computers are unreliable.  Humans are worse.

2.	Any system which depends on human reliability is unreliable.

3.	Undetectable error are infinite in variety.  Detectable errors do
	not exist, unless deadline is less than three hours away.

4.	Investment in reliability will increase until it exceeds the
	probable cost of errors, or until someone insists on getting some
	real work done.

	
BROOK'S LAW

	Any manpower added to a late project makes it later.


LAWS OF COMPUTERDUM ACCORDING TO GOLUB

1.	Fuzzy project objectives are used to avoid the embarrasment of
	estimating the corresponding costs.

2.	Carelessy planned projects take three times longer to complete than
	expected.  Carefully planned projects take only three times longer to
	complete than expected.

3.	Programmers detest weekly status reporting because it so vividly
	manifests their lack of progress.



LUBARSKY'S LAW OF CYBERNETIC ENTOMOLOGY

	There is always one more bug.


SHAW'S PRINCIPLE

	Build a system that even a fool can use, and only a fool will
	use it.

IBM POLLYANNA PRINCIPLE

	Machines should work. People should think.


GRAY'S LAW OF PROGRAMMING

	"n+1" trivial tasks are expected to be accomplished in tha same time
	as "n" trivial tasks.

LOGG'S REBUTTAL TO GRAY'S LAW

	"n+1" trivial tasks take twice as long as "n" trivial tasks.


WEINBERG'S SECOND LAW

	If builders built building the way that programmers program programs,
	the first woodpecker to come along would destroy civiliization.


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Remeber to send additions to:


Ross M. Greenberg  @ NYU   ---->  allegra!cmcl2!acf4!greenber  <----