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From: canopus@amdahl.UUCP (Flaming Asteroid)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Shaggy Caveman Story
Message-ID: <499@amdahl.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 13-Nov-84 12:15:03 EST
Article-I.D.: amdahl.499
Posted: Tue Nov 13 12:15:03 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 14-Nov-84 00:24:57 EST
Distribution: na
Organization: Amdahl Corp, Sunnyvale CA
Lines: 59

Back in the caveman days, it was very popular to have a nice, bushy
beard.  All the cavemen had one, except for poor Benny.  He couldn't
grow a beard, and he felt so out of place, so self-conscious with
his bare face.  He would go to bed every night, wishing so hard that
he could grow a beard, and be popular like the rest of the cavemen.

Well, as so often happens in these stories, wishing hard enough will
ultimately produce some results, and this story is no exception.  One
night, a sorcerer appeared to Benny.  Benny recounted his tale of woe,
his inability to grow a beard, his feelings of inadequacy because he
lacked said beard, and his belief that if he had a beard he would be
just as popular as the rest of the cavemen.

The sorcerer took pity on Benny, and told him, "Benny, I will grant
you your wish, but under one condition.  You may have your beard,
but under no conditions are you ever to shave it off!  For if you
ever shave it off, you shall be zapped and placed into an urn."
Benny thought about this for a brief second, but his overwhelming
desire to be like everyone else outweighed his judgement, and he
told the sorcerer, "OK, please give me my beard".  The sorcerer
told him that when he wakes up in the morning, he will have his
glorious beard.

That morning, Benny got up and ran to the bathroom.  Looking into
the mirror, he saw the most magnificent beard on his face!  He was
simply elated!  All day long, as he walked through town, all the
cavegirls simply adored his handsome beard, and all the cavemen
stared in envy.  This went on for quite some time, of course, and
Benny was just as happy as he could be.

Well, after many, many years beards kind of got out of fashion
among the cavemen, and they soon began shaving them off.  Except
for Benny, that is.  He remembered the sorcerer's threat of being
zapped and put into an urn if he ever shaved off his beard, and he
certainly didn't want that to happen.

As more and more cavemen shaved their beards, it wasn't long before
Benny was the only caveman with a beard.  Soon the feelings of
inadequacy returned, and Benny found himself wishing that he didn't
have the beard.  Since the "clean look" was in, all the cavegirls
were ignoring him, and he really felt out of place.

Benny began thinking that maybe the sorcerer who appeared to him
that night long ago was really only a dream.  After all, he had never
seen a sorcerer before or after that singular event.  Looking in the
mirror one morning, he said, "Aw, what the heck!  Nothing will happen
if I shave this silly thing!".  So without further ado, Benny shaved
his beard.

And, as the sorcerer promised so very long ago, Benny was zapped, and
put into an urn.

By now you must be wondering, "What's the point of this story?"  Well,
it does have a moral:  A Benny shaved is a Benny urned!
-- 
Frank Dibbell  (408-746-6493)          ...!{ihnp4,hplabs,amd,nsc}!amdahl!canopus

[The views expressed herein are not necessarily the views of my
employer, or myself, for that matter]