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From: jdb@qubix.UUCP (Jeff Bulf)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Confused by ambiguous signals
Message-ID: <1473@qubix.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 28-Oct-84 20:36:32 EST
Article-I.D.: qubix.1473
Posted: Sun Oct 28 20:36:32 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 30-Oct-84 07:56:16 EST
References: <1495@vax2.fluke.UUCP> <1725@nsc.UUCP>
Distribution: net
Organization: Qubix Graphic Systems, San Jose, CA
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[dictum chuqorum]
> Now comes the first rule of Chuqui: never make assumptions based on your
> own insecurities. If she doesn't really want to go out with you, she'll let
> you know. Don't make that decision for her.

    Excellent advice, my friend. Yet it still leaves me confused:

	    Was she doing precisely that?

    Most women (at least among those I'd like to go out with), won't just
tell you flat out "No, I'm not interested in you." The reasons may include
not liking to hurt feelings, understanding social norms, or not wanting to
alienate a potentially useful career contact.

    In any event the "letting you know" frequently takes a form a lot like
the events the questioner described. Therein lies the dilemma. How to
distinguish a real "back-off" message from any of the other possibilities
you (correctly) mentioned.


"She said you don't understand what I said.
 I said 'no no no you're wrong...'"
-- 
	Dr Memory
	...{decvax,ucbvax,ihnp4}!decwrl!qubix!jdb