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From: rh@mit-eddie.UUCP (Randy Haskins)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: ambiguous behavior
Message-ID: <3063@mit-eddie.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 4-Nov-84 23:02:40 EST
Article-I.D.: mit-eddi.3063
Posted: Sun Nov  4 23:02:40 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 6-Nov-84 04:59:52 EST
References: <132@ttidcc.UUCP>
Organization: MIT, Cambridge, MA
Lines: 30

Okay, this is it.  I had been just muddling along, but a strange
concurrence of conditions has made this the time for me to jump
into this (don't ask me why)....

Ambiguous behavior shouldn't be an issue.  Unfortunately, we've all
been told to play the dating game.  I've played it a little, and
hated it thoroughly.  I think it will not work, at least not in its
current incarnation.  The rules of the game state that if you see
someone you are attracted to (usually for physical reasons, at this
level), then you should try to get him/her to go out with you, and
all other things (sex, marriage, perhaps even love) will logically
follow.  That's the whole problem, the de facto assumption that
going out with someone is somewhat expected to lead to these things.
It places an awful lot of pressure on the concept of "going out with
someone."  It disallows going out with someone to get to know her/him 
better to decide if you want to move on to sex/marriage/love.  When

I try to go out with someone I barely know, I don't really enjoy
myself.  Yeah, okay, it's probably my problem that I feel the
pressure.  But usually, they are thinking about things in the terms
I outline above, so it's not going to be a great evening.  It was
less of a problem back when I bought 'the game,' but after becoming
just a little enlightened, I can't do it and feel like it's the
right thing to do.  Admittedly, current society doesn't make it that
easy to meet people, at least not in a situation where honesty is
paramount.  Well, this has gotten long and lost its focus, so I'd
probably better bail out.  Maybe someone can pick up on what I'm
trying to say and say it.
-- 
Randwulf  (Randy Haskins);  Path= genrad!mit-eddie!rh