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Posting-Version: version B 2.10.2 9/17/84 chuqui version 1.7 9/23/84; site nsc.UUCP
Path: utzoo!decvax!decwrl!sun!idi!nsc!ihnp4!hound!llfe
From: llfe@hound.UUCP
Newsgroups: mod.singles
Subject: Re: Unconditional Love
Message-ID: <1863@nsc.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 17-Nov-84 17:40:14 EST
Article-I.D.: nsc.1863
Posted: Sat Nov 17 17:40:14 1984
Date-Received: Sun, 18-Nov-84 05:04:51 EST
Sender: chuqui@nsc.UUCP
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Approved: chuqui@nsc.UUCP

- - - mod.singles- - -          - - - Volume 1, Issue 22 - - -

>> The major problem I've had 
>> with relationships is that people try too hard to be accepting, 
>> and as a result, hold in the resentment too long to talk about it 
>> reasonably.

> if the person is accepting, there is no resentment building 
> and none of the unfortunate consequences.

There is a problem with being accepting.  I have yet to meet someone
who is completely accepting.  I am not sure than any such person exists.

I grew up on "conditional love," so I don't see anything wrong with it.
Most people operate on the "if you don't love me, then I won't
love you" basis.  This is one type of condition. "Because I love you,
I will prohibit you from being a mass murder," is another condition.
(giggle, hey!  I could come up with some real good examples! :-)

Some of the conditions I deal with are "I love you, but I need some
peace and quiet/sleep/time alone" and "I love you, so I'm going to
ruin your life/make you go to school/insert your own phrase for your 
own good."

Instead of advocating/expecting infinite acceptance of both yourself and
the person you deal with, I would recommend communication.  Both of the
"let's sit down and discuss this" type, and the "yell, scream, jump-up-
and-down" type.  BOTH are positive influences if you are careful.


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