Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site kcl-cs.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!genrad!wjh12!harvard!seismo!mcvax!ukc!kcl-cs!foote
From: foote@kcl-cs.UUCP (ZNAC???)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Bus joke
Message-ID: <410@kcl-cs.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 12-Nov-84 13:26:53 EST
Article-I.D.: kcl-cs.410
Posted: Mon Nov 12 13:26:53 1984
Date-Received: Sat, 17-Nov-84 02:27:20 EST
Lines: 54

[And another one gone, another one gone, another one bites the dust!]


     This bloke from Yorkshire named Harry is out of work, so  he
goes  into  the  local  employment  agency to ask for a job.  The
clerk there says, "well, we haven't got much available this week.
The  best we can offer you is a job as a bus conductor."  The guy
is really desperate, so he accepts.
     Everything goes fine with his new job for two months,  until
one  day the bus is packed full with people.  A little girl tries
to get on, but he says "Sorry, the bus is full.  You'll  have  to
go",  and  with  that, he pushes her out of the moving bus.  For-
tunately, she is not hurt.  Since, for the past two months, Harry
has  been good at his job, his supervisor lets him continue.  But
he does say "if this happens again, there will  be  no  help  for
you."
     Everything goes fine  for  another  few  months,  until  the
Christmas  shopping  season.   Again,  the bus is jam packed with
people, but this time a little old lady  who  is  returning  from
Harrod's  to  buy  presents for her grandchildren tries to get on
the bus. "I'm sorry, the bus is full.  You'll have  to  go"  says
Harry,  and  with  that,  pushes her out into the street.  Unfor-
tunately, she is run over buy a taxi, and dies.
     Well, this time Harry has had it.  He is taken  into  trial,
and the judge sentences him to death.  He is taken into the elec-
tric chair, and he is being prepared.
     "Wait!  Don't I get one last request", says Harry.   "Oh,  I
guess so", says the executioner.  "What do you want?"  Harry asks
for a bananna.  "A bananna? what do you  want  that  for?   Well,
never mind. It is your last request."  So Harry eats the bananna,
and throws the peel over his right shoulder.
     Harry is strapped into the electric chair, and the switch is
thrown,  but  nothing  happens!   The  puzzled executioner has an
electritian check over the chair.  In the meantime,  Harry  says,
"Well,  since  you're going to try again, don't I get another re-
quest?"  This is granted, and Harry asks for another bananna.  He
eats it, and this time throws the peel over his left shoulder.
     They then strap him in, to give it another try.  The  switch
is  thrown,  and  again,  nothing  happend!  The executioner says
"Well, that's it then.  The law states that if we  fail  to  kill
you with two tries, you are a free man."
     Outside the prison, there is a crowd  of  journalists.   The
all  ask  the same thing, "Why aren't you dead?  Did it have any-
thing to do with the bananna?"
     "No", says Harry. "I guess I'm just a lousy conductor."



                  "...and I'm looking for the joke with a microscope"

                                        William Foote
                                        Westfield College
                                        Univ. of London