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From: jmaag@okstate.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: New OS?
Message-ID: <3800012@okstate.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 18-Nov-84 23:09:00 EST
Article-I.D.: okstate.3800012
Posted: Sun Nov 18 23:09:00 1984
Date-Received: Thu, 22-Nov-84 05:21:48 EST
Lines: 48
Nf-ID: #N:okstate:3800012:000:2316
Nf-From: okstate!jmaag    Nov 18 22:09:00 1984


      Saw this on a bulletin board. Hope all of you enjoy it.


                  New Operating System

  Because so many users have asked for an Operating System of
even greater capability than VM, IBM announces the Virtual Universe
Operating System - OS/VU.

  Running under VU, the individual user appears to have not merely
a machine of his own, but an entire universe of his own in which he
can set up and take down his own programs, data sets, systems networks,
personnel and planetary systems. He need only specify the universe he
desires and the OS/VU system generation program (IEHGOD) does the rest.
This program will reside in Sys1.GODLIB. The minimum time for this
function is 6 days of activity and one day of review. In conjunction
with OS/VU, all systems utilities reside in SYS1.MESSIAH. This program
has no parms or control cards as it knows what you want to do when
you execute it.

  Naturally, the user must have attained a certain degree of 
sophistication in the data processing field if an efficient utilization
of OS/VU is to be achieved. Frequent calls to non-resident galaxies
can, for instance, lead to unexpected delays in the execution of a
job. Although IBM, through its wholly owned subsidiary, the United
States, is working on a program to upgrade the speed of light and thus
reduce the overhead of extraterrestrial and metadimensional paging.
Users must be careful for the present to stay within the laws of
physics. IBM must charge an additional fee for violations.

  OS/VU will run on any IBM x0xx equipped with extended WARP feature.
rental is twenty million dollars per cpu/nanosecond.

  Users should be aware that IBM plans to migrate all existing systems
and hardware to OS/VU as soon as our engineers effect one output
that is (conceptually) error free. This will give us a base to develop
an even more powerful OS, target date 2001, designated 'VIRTUAL
REALITY'. OS/VR is planned to allow the user to migrate to totally
unreal universes. To aid the user in identifying the difference between
'VIRTUAL REALITY' and 'REAL REALITY', a file containing a linear record
of multisensory total records of successive moments of now will be 
established. Its name will be SYS1.EST.

  For more information, contact your IBM data processing representative.

John Maag (jmaag@okstate)