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From: aaz@pucc-h (mengal)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: 'Twas the Night Before Christmas ( in a manner of speaking )
Message-ID: <1511@pucc-h>
Date: Mon, 26-Nov-84 16:43:29 EST
Article-I.D.: pucc-h.1511
Posted: Mon Nov 26 16:43:29 1984
Date-Received: Wed, 28-Nov-84 02:00:34 EST
Organization: Purdue University Computing Center
Lines: 126


    << Christmas present for the line eater >>

    'Twas the Night Before Christmas (in a manner of speaking)

	'Twas the nocturnal segment of
	   the diurnal period preceding the
	   annual Yuletide celebration, And
	   throughout our place of residence,
	Kinetic activity was not in evidence
	   among the possessors of this
	   potential, including that species of
	   domestic rodent known as Mus
	   musculus.
	Hosiery was meticulously suspended from
	   the forward edge of the woodburning
	   caloric apparatus,
	Pursuant to our anticipatory
	   pleasure regarding an imminent
	   visitation from an eccentric
	   philanthropist among whose folkloric
	   appelations is the honorific title of
	   St. Nicklaus

	The prepubescent siblings comfortably
	    ensconsed in their respective
	    accommodations of repose.
	Were experiencing subconcious visual
	    hallucinations of verigated fruit
	    confections moving rhythmically
	    through their cerebrums.


	Hastening to the casement I forthwith
	    opened the barriers sealing this
	    fenestrations
	Noting thereupon that the lunar brilliance
	    reflected as it was on the surface of
	    a recent crystalline precipitation,
	Might be said to rival that of the solar
	    meridian itself.
	Thus permitting my incredulous optical
	    sensory organs to behold
	A miniature airborne runnered conveyance
	    draw by eight diminuative specimines
	    of the genus Rangifer


	Piloted by a miniscule, aged chauffeur,
	   so ebulent and nimble
	That it became instantly apparent to me
	    that he was indeed our anticipated
	    caller.
	With his ungulate motive power traveling
	    at what may have been more
	    vertiginous velocity than patriotic
	    aler predators
	He vociferated loudly, expelled breath
	    musically through contracted labia
	    and addressed each of the octet by
	    his or her respective cognomen:


	"Now Dasher! Now Dancer!... " et al.,
	Guiding them to the uppermost exterior
	    level of our abode,
	Throughout which structure I could readily
	    distinguish the concatenations of
	    each of the cloven pedal extremities
	As I retracted my cranium from its
	    erstwhile location and was 
	    performing a 180 degree pivot,
	Our distinguished visitant achieved with
	    utmost celerity, a downward 
	    leapentry by way of the smoke passage.


	Clenched firmly between his incisors was
	    a smoking piece.
	Whose gray fumes, forming a tenuous
	    elipse about his occiput, were
	    suggestive of a decorative seasonal
	    circlet of holly
	His visage ws wider than it was high, and
	    when he waxed audibly mirthful, his
	    corpulment abdominal region
	    undulated in the manner of
	    in mectinated fruit syrup in a
	    hemispherical container


	Without utterance and with dispatch
	He commenced filling the aforementioned
	    hosiery with various of the
	    aforementioned articles of
	    merchandise extracted from his
	    aforementioned previously dorsaly
	    transported cloth receptacle.


	He then propelled himself on a short
	    vector on his conveyance, directed a
	    musical expulsion of air through his
	    contracted oral sphincter, to the
	    antlered quadrupeds of burden.
	And proceeded to soar aloft in a movement
	    hitherto observable chiefly among
	    the seed-be ring portions of a common
	    weed.
	But I overheard his parting exclamation,
	    audible immediately prior to his
	    vehiculasion beyond the limits of
	    visibility:
	"Ecstatic Yuletide to the planetary
	    constituency; and to that selfsame 
	    assemblage my sincerest wishes for 
	    a salubriously benificial and 
	    gratifyingly pleasurable period 
	    between sunset and dawn."
-- 
-----
Marc W. Mengel
{decvax|ucbvax|sequent|icalqa|inuxc|uiucdcs|ihnp4}!pur-ee!pucc-i!aaz

	The opinions expressed herein are my own.  The University is
    not known to have any opinions.